Simon Mayo's Confessions

Let's go fly a kite & other tales

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. This week the Confessional Collective take over the podcast. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Scream and shout & other tales

A collection of hilarious revelations from the Confession Crypt in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. This week is a crypt special featuring five confessions not featured on the podcast yet. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Smells like teen spirit & other tales

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

The not very righteous brothers & other tales

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

We didn't start the fire & other tales

A septic ploppy run, an accidental country invasion, a stinky fish prank and church entertainment all feature this week.There’s more bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’, including one from bus driver Jerry.Plus, we delve deep into the crypt for a classic confession with a very BIG twist we called You can Keep the Costa Brava and All That Palava - I'm off to Margate.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Hunting high and low & other tales

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Big bad wolf & other tales

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

The spy who loved me & other tales

Have you ever been tempted to leave your clothes on the beach for a spot of skinny dipping? Would you betray King and country for life on a Bulgarian goat farm?Introducing Debbie, Tracey, Maxine, Dora, and the super secret Commander who come in search of absolution for past misdemeanours - will they get your forgiveness?There are more bonus confessions from the producer's file marked 'Not for broadcast'. We resurrect another classic confession from the crypt, and Brother Matt has new glasses.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

It's all happening at the zoo & other tales

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Breathe the pressure. Exhale, exhale, exhale & other tales

If you're the kind of person who runs or cycles to work - this might not be the episode for you. If you could pick Vanessa Feltz out of a police lineup - you'll probably enjoy 49% of this episode. If you enjoy a good laugh and a couple of PG-rated confessions - this, my friend, is the episode for you.Colin, Chloe, Stan, and Mr Mackay all come in search of absolution. We have more bonus confessions from the producer's file marked 'Not for broadcast' and your messages proudly pinned on the Parish Notice Board.Plus, we unearth another classic confession from the crypt; 'I don't want to be another page in your diary', a salient reminder of the pitfalls of digital diaries.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

My oh so funny valentine & other tales

Cereal romantics, fancy dress fiascos, and Bali balls-ups. - Introducing Kevin, Ashley, Roger, and the Reverend ‘Nobby Trousers’ all hoping to find some forgiveness for their sins.There’s a unique insight into holidaying with our Matt, more bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’, and Maddie’s old boss “looking for badgers”.Plus, we delve deep into the crypt for a classic confession we called ‘The Ugly Bug Ball’, in which Marky Mark outlines the dangers of metal mites.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

One night in Bangkok & other tales

What's the honeymoon secret Johnny is hiding? Will you succumb to Huey's tracksuit charm? Who takes a vegetarian to a steak restaurant for Valentine's? All's fair in love and confessions, as we lend a listening ear to more of life's let-downs looking to find forgiveness for their sins – will they find it?There are bonus confessions from the producer's file marked 'Not for broadcast', the 'tat' cupboard is open for business, and we resurrect a classic confession from the crypt featuring what might be the greatest confession line of all time, as Jazzy Jeff seeks out; Ugandan Discussions Down The Disco.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes & other tales

Have you ever been a Cub Scout or a Brownie? – Both Bear and Tawny Owl are in search of some forgiveness in this episode. Along with Nobby and Toby, or should that be Mike?We go way back for a classic confession from the crypt to relive PJ’s story; ‘Voulez-Vous Confessey Avec Moi Ce Soir’ featuring another performance of Simon’s famous French accent.Plus, there are more confessions we could never broadcast on the radio. Your brilliant messages and reviews on the Parish Notice Board, and don’t forget to listen through to the end for the secret code phrase.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

You can’t always get what you want & other tales

Would you sell your wife’s car to get to a concert or send your husband a fake invoice from the vet? – Introducing Karl, Fergus, Smudge, and ‘Puffing Billy’ all hoping to find some forgiveness.Simon recalls the infamous goat and hamster confessions from days gone by – different times (very different times). There’s some unmissable culinary advice if you’re unsure what to pair with your Angel Delight, and more bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’.Plus, we delve deep into the crypt for a classic confession; ‘Dropkick Me Jesus Through The Goalposts Of Life’, in which Trisha finds herself in something of a tight spot at the crematorium.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Crying in the chapel & other tales

Be warned - this episode contains snakes, speedos, and possibly one too many banana gags. As Harry, Jonah, ‘Johnny Weissmuller’, and Sid seek absolution – will they find it?There are bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’. Firm marriage proposal guidelines from Matt, and Karen recalls some questionable parenting and confessional gold on the Parish Notice Board. Plus, we venture into the crypt for a classic confession featuring visiting Sister Jackie Brambles in Robert’s tale; ‘Gee, Cousin Louie, you're doin' real good.’ – which has a starring role for the office jobsworth. You know the type.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Black holes and revelations & other tales

We’re back, and Simon’s declared this Season 5. Although, to be honest, it got messy, and we lost count. Anyway, Mitch, Julie, Harry and Nick come in search of forgiveness in this episode - do they deserve it?There are bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’. Some profoundly vague advice about what to keep in the boot of your car, and a few early bits and pieces on the Parish Notice Board, including Bill’s confessional note regarding his prized Lynn Parsons clock.Plus, we venture into the crypt for a classic confession from ‘Knuckles’ entitled; I Was Born Under A Wand'rin’ Star’ - which illustrates the unexpected pitfalls of going travelling in your 30s.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Sing Hosanna, the podcast is back

We’re back with an inbox full of sinners willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes. New episodes every Friday.Send your confessions and correspondence for the parish notice board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk