Simon Mayo's Confessions

Knock knock, who's there & other tales

What do a cruise convenience calamity, a Chuckle brothers signed program, a washed up coffin and a possessed car have in common? They're all tangled up in this week's mischievous confessions!This week's episode features Colin's escapades with fellow students car. Then there's Redrock's tale, featuring a well made coffin that went in the river and washed up down the coast, leaving people to wonder what happened to contents. Meanwhile Gordon (or should that be Graham?!) is forging the signatures of a comical duo and over on the cruise ship the 'Big Shiny' Johnny Boy is having some toilet trouble.In the Not For Broadcast Section there is a relationship revenge. Plus, the team chat chocolate feelings, and coughing fits! Buckle up - It's going to be a good one. Have your own confession? - email it to confession@greatesthits.co.uk

Caught out riding fences & other tales

From a swimming pool prank, to a missing cat, clairvoyant chaos and a gardener getting caught short, this week's confessions serve up another round of mischief, mishaps, and morally questionable decisions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! The Not for Broadcast section involves a toothbrush and a rude hand gesture. There's also talk of podcast prison, showering behaviour and Matt is actually right about something.Brace yourself for an episode packed with laughter, gasps and moments you wont forget.

Give it away, give it away, give it away now & other tales

What do a budgie's flight for freedom, a stuffed cornet, shouts of 'Wally' and some hot hot sauce have in common? They're all tangled up in this week's mischievous confessions!This week's episode features Chad's chilli confession, where a childhood love of spicy food let to an unfortunate A&E trip for an unsuspecting classmate. Then there's Andy's sad budgie tale, featuring a high-stakes race between man and bird - Andy won and the budgie had a less than happy ending. Meanwhile David's campsite chaos saw an innocent game of shouting "Wally" spiral into a full sale eviction of his Baptist camp neighbours and over in Class 3, Nick took extreme measures against an irritating cornet player, leading to the unforgettable phrase: "Jammed a cushion up his cornet"In the Not For Broadcast Section we hit peak disgrace with a Vomit Comet. Plus, we discuss the secrets to becoming the best podcast in the world an why every household should keep an emergency supply of full fat milk. Buckle up - It's going to be a good one.

All together now & other tales

The stage is set and the confessions spotlight is on, and this week's tales are funnier and more outrageous than ever. Get ready for exam rallying, sister pranks, sickly scouts and bets as a new generation of sinners seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective!This week features Andy who ended up collaborating with 140 other students during an exam, Drucilla who told her sister she would be dead by 6pm, Joe and how his journey home from Scouts shocked two unexpecting victims and Lady Janes and her betting syndicate and illicit use of choir robes to hide contraband. Meanwhile the Not For Broadcast Section features some pee. There's also talk of liberal arts, Huey Lewis and the News and vomit noises. Be prepared for laughs, gasps and some very sickly sinners.

Sisters are doin' it for themselves & other tales

From a sibling prank, to a boy racer tale, exam cheating and a Cluedo playing cad with some shocking behaviour, this week's confessions serve up another round of mischief, mishaps, and morally questionable decisions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! The Not for Broadcast section involves a toothbrush and a tent. There's also talk of AI and combine harvesters. Plus is there a confession that Matt even finds hard to forgive? Brace yourself for an episode packed with laughter, gasps and moments you wont forget.

You bring the body, and I'll bring the steam & other tales

It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with laughs! From spooky supernatural activity to frogs through a letterbox - no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?

Enter Sandman & other tales

It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with laughs! From a pee puddle to fake sand, make shift ear plus and cross curriculum experiments —no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?

These boots are made for walking & other tales...

From a shoe swap, creative locksmithing, triplet trickery and a spooky prank with some angel statues this week's confessions serve up another round of mischief, mishaps, and morally questionable decisions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! In the Not for Broadcast section, the team tackle house party cheating and airport toilet trouble. There's also a heated discussion about Walkmans with radios, away day forced fun and an apology on the people verdict.Brace yourself for an episode packed with laughter, gasps and moments you wont forget.

Caught out there & other tales

It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with laughs! From a revenge gift that oinks, a very dodgy drink, a family airport lockdown and a love story with slightly crossed wires —no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?

Old man rhythm is in my shoes & other tales

It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with laughs! From on board cruise entertainment scuppered by an ice cube, a broken bingo machine, a school trip to Russia and very childish drawing on a reproductive medicine book —no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?

Who should I say is calling & other tales

From crucifix calamities to creepy dolls, this week's confessions bring plenty of mischief, misunderstandings, and outright mayhem. Aled shares a tale of the time he accidentally trapped a TV producer in the door of an old bus - thanks to the enormous one-foot crucifix around the poor man's neck in Do-wah diddy, diddy dum, diddy uuurrrghh! Then there's Derek the Trucker with his tale - Mercy Sakes Alive, who wanted a quiet drink but ended up redirecting overly chatty Beryl to another trucker... leading to an unfortunate mix-up for poor Barry. Meanwhile Frank is seeking forgiveness in Eyes without a face after his con plays a terrifying prank on his little sister using an unsettling doll gifted by mad Cousin Pat. And finally Filofax Girl had enough of stray footballs invading her garden (and even her house) so she took drastic action in Who should I say is calling? In the Not for Broadcast section, things take a truly nauseating turn with a particularly sickening story. Elsewhere on the pod the team discusses

It ain’t easy being green & other tales

From dodgy baking to disastrous DIY wine, this week's confessions serve up another round of mischief, mishaps, and morally questionable decisions. Loves Hot Fevered Iron shares a confession from a real reverend who politely accepted a weekly homemade cake from a well-meaning parishioner only to secretly bin them every time. Then there's Dave from Grimsby with a Horse with No Name, who sent his dad to the farm shop on a mission for his sister's horse, Hoof Hearted a name that's far more embarrassing when said out loud. Meanwhile, Professor Perilous finally comes clean about a shocking day in his teaching career with Sonic Boom Boy, when a student in his DT class sanded off the top of her finger. And in the truly stomach-churning It Ain't Easy Being Green, Tom recalls his time at an eco-commune, where homemade wine and a compost toilet got horribly, horrifyingly mixed up. In the Not for Broadcast section, the team tackles revenge with a toothbrush, the sheer indignity of being sick into a coat pocket. There's a

Radioactivity is in the air for you and me & other tales

What do a fake triplet, a runaway car, a French footballer and a frozen headmaster have in common? They're all tangled up in this week's mischievous confessions!This week's episode features Dad of Twins, who made a bold claim in 'Isn't She Lovely, Isn't She Wonderful', telling a stranger he left the 'ugly' triplet at home. Driver Six Seven confessed to 'Slip Sliding Away' after blaming their younger sibling for a car crash that was entirely their own doing. Meanwhile Maria Callus from Middlesbrough finds herself pressed against the chest of a French footballer on a crammed train and, fluent in French, spends the journey secretly listening to his every word. Finally, Dr Boffin recounts a chaotic science experiment in six form he tampered with, after being in the pub at lunch, that resulted a very frozen headmaster.In the Not For Broadcast Section there's breaking wind in Church, hot-tubbing with colleagues and debating if showering at work is every acceptable. Plus Matt gets very excited over a glowing revie

Live at the Apollo & other tales

The stage is set and the confessions spotlight is on, and this week's tales are funnier and more outrageous than ever. Get ready for mic mishaps, wagyu thieves and slingshot scandals as a new generation of sinners seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective!This week features Mark who convinced his daughter to steer clear of sheep by spinning a yarn, Steve whose slingshot dreams were dashed when his dad turned it into a weapon of lamp destruction, Ninja cat Smokey who went on a daring steak heist from the BBQ next door and Matt's mate Huw - how stole the microphone from the lead singer of the band UFO at a gig, shouted into it and was immortalized on the bands live album and DVD.Meanwhile the Not For Broadcast Section features a toilet paint story of peril. There's also talk of spooky forests, Matt's morality and hills vs knolls. Prepare for laughs, gasps and some very sheepish sinners.

And on the conveyor belt tonight & other tales

Start the new year right, with a brand-new confessions podcast! It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week features Ukrainian drunk geese, whisky switched with vinegar, a terrible police prank-call, public transport toilet trouble, and some revolting mince pies. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio!

Best of 2024 Part Two

The confessions door are open once again for the second instalment of our Best of 2024 Specials. Join Father Simon, Brother Matt and Sister Suzi once again as they revisit some of the most unforgettable confessions from 2024.Expect outrageous secrets, side-splitting slip-ups and moments that left us all speechless.Will Matt's forgiveness streak remain unbroken? Will Suzi offer forgiveness where it's least expected? There is only one way to find out..Don't forget you can start the year a fresh and send in your confession to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Best of 2024 Part One

It's been a year of shocking secrets, laugh out loud mishaps and moments that made us all gasp. In Part One of this very special episode Father Simon, Brother Matt and Sister Suzi revisit some of the most unforgettable confessions from 2024. From hilarious blunders to jaw dropping revelations, join the Confessions Collective as we relive the stories that had you talking, cringing and forgiving. Will Suzi ever forgive? Had Matt continued his streak of unconditional forgiveness? Sit back and find out and don't forget to send your confession to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Turn around bright eyes & other tales

Prepare yourself for a festive feast of mischief, mayhem and more confessions than Saint Nick's naughty list can handle, as Father Simon and the Confessional collective open their ears to a new generation of sinners and mischief makers.Vicky shares her sticky situation in 'What's happened with the fruit jelly's Grandma? Which is basically a gross tale involving eating someone else sucked sweets. Elizabeth causes a stir when a not so legal Police woman helps throw Kevin a 21st he'll never forget - Baby what a BIG Surprise. 'Not Mother of the Year' has a 7 year old chocolate lie that nearly involved an epi-pen and Terry takes us down Christmas memory lane for Turn around bright eyes. For those that can handle it the Not for Broadcast section brings us 'sick in a handbag' at the office party. Plus there's a Parish Noticeboard mix up, and insight into what Matt bought with his first pay check and how it's always best to water then pray! Whether you're decking the halls or hiding from the in-laws, this episode wi

Run baby run & other tales

Hold on to your lederhosen because this week's episode is packed with outrageous confessions that will leave you laughing, cringing and questioning humanity just a little bit. This week Father Simon and the collective tackle the sins of Frits, whose festive prank saw his mate don Bavarian lederhosen and fake a German accent at a Christmas light switch on, only to be hailed as a 'star guest' by the local paper and end up alongside the mayor for the big moment. Tamzin who mistook a stranger for her husband and got far too familiar with him - which didn't go down well with the strangers wife. Sabrina is also asking for forgiveness for her late night cravings which led to a Christmas Eve kitchen meltdown (literally) that her brother took the blame for. Tufty caused a ruckus with lots of fake stag do stories, which caused the groom to run scared, cross the road only looking the wrong way - which ended in a leg in plaster for the wedding. In the Not for Broadcast corner there is a lot of disapproving tuts at simpl

Cool for cats, cool for caaaaaats & other tales

Brace yourselves for a purr-fectly scandalous episode as Father Simon and the Confessional collective hear some truly cat-astrophic tales of sin and mischief.Reverend Timothy dealings with a parishioner may or may not have included a suspicious nudge towards an open grave (and a funeral plan that was less than divine). Babs recounts her chaotic stay in a fancy Singapore hotel where her toddler caused a five foot floral and water disaster. Dad's confession is equal parts heat warming and horrifying: keeping the family cat, in the fridge for a final farewell, while spinning an increasingly tangled web of lies about the feline's untimely demise. And Gez's golf holiday prank on his forgetful mate with a fictional Spanish romance, doesn't go too well with his wife. Plus the Not For Broadcast Section debates questionable brownies and special sauce. We also talk shame stain colour theory and Matt's perfect Christmas gift.It's a wild ride of redemption, laughs and the occasional feline wizard. Don't miss it!

Walk and talk & other tales

Prepare yourself for a bumper batch of belly laugh inducing confessions as Father Simon and the Confessional collective open their ears to a new generation of sinners and mischief makers.Alastair shares the tale of his dad's ingenious flat security measures, which left an entire family hostage until a coat hanger and a helpful neighbour saves the day. Damien recalls his Christmas job in a catalogue shop, where his clever use of a Talkboy turned festive cheer into Christmas Eve chaos. Monty meanwhile shares the grim tale of a portaloo walkie-taklie rescue that went...unwashed! La Di Da Gunner Graham’s mischief turns a marching band into a marching disaster. Plus the 'Not For Broadcast' section features a floating fish and debates on what constitutes "very illegal". We also talk Christmas confession submissions. Oh and Simon may have rebranded a social media platform with a chocolate theme.Don't forget to follow wherever you get your podcasts. Listen, laugh and remember - it's never too late for redemption

Wait till your father gets home & other tales

Sit back and enjoy four new confessions as Tom, Stuart, Cybil and Butcher's boy, seek forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! Including covering a young waiter in hot English mustard, denting your dad's car an letting him take the blame, to setting fire to the school assembly curtains and making up fake metal bands to add to your Christmas —no tale is too outrageous. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those just too naughty for Greatest Hits Radio. Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too shocking to pardon?

I can hear your heartbeat& other tales

Brace yourselves for another batch of hilarious confessions as Becca, Tufty, Chaz and Carl Jim seek forgiveness from Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! From a school music prank, to stag do revenge, telephonic travesty with an adult personal virus and a medical mistake that will make your eyes water and cross your legs. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including one that is just too illegal for Greatest Hits Radio. Matt also confuses pickled eggs and chutney and a dog wees on some cheese. Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too shocking to pardon?

Mamma mia & other tales

Get ready for some astounding confessions this week as Thomas, Mike, Freddy and Jim seek forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! From a mum that dropped her children off to school and then emigrated to Canada with a car sales man who was 'hot a mustard', to a sitcom style electrical job in a funeral home, the prefect chid who was full of lies when it came to a fruit machine win and a grand theft gateaux —no tale is too outrageous. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including one just to wrong for Greatest Hits Radio that involves a Stag do!! and the team celebrate 1 Millions listens. Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too shocking to pardon?Be sure to follow the podcast wherever you get your podcasts!