The Top 10 modern Christmas cracker jokes have been revealed 🤪
What type of peas ruin Christmas Dinner?
It's that time of the year, the Christmas tree is up, the house is full of decorations and lights, and the Top 10 Christmas cracker jokes have been revealed. Are you bored of the usual cracker jokes? If you are, then these one-liners will have you chuckling to your heart's content.
Unsurprisingly this year's top jokes are centred around key events of the year and topics that are relevant to many of us such as heating, the government and popular TV shows.
These jokes are the winners of TV channel Gold’s annual festive competition for new Christmas cracker jokes. The competition is now in its 10th year and challenges entrants to come up with the best topical and modern Christmas cracker jokes!
Gold's Top 10 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2022:
1 What type of peas ruin Christmas Dinner?
MPs
2 Why does Kate Bush need to turn the heating off?
She’s running up that bill.
3 How did King Charles III sign his Christmas cards to his family?
The Artist Formerly Known As Prince
4 What’s the difference between Liz Truss and a shepherd?
One U-turns and the other turns ewes
5 Why are Will Smith and Chris Rock not having turkey this Christmas?
Because they’ve got beef
6 Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys?
Carbon footprints
7 What crisps do Phil and Holly serve at their Christmas party?
Skips.
8 Why are the Government having problems with their own version of the Christmas Nativity?
They can't find three wise men
9 What do people heating their homes and wrapping paper have in common this Christmas?
Both of them are getting ripped off
10 How can you keep your home warm this Christmas?
Tinsulation
Now test your knowledge with our Ultimate Christmas Quiz:
1) What colour was Father Christmas' suit originally?
2) What year did The Pogues release Christmas classic 'Fairytale of New York'?
3) If you combine the number of drummers drumming, ladies dancing and gold rings from 'The Twelve Day Of Christmas', how many gifts will you have?
4) How many gifts in total were given in 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' Song?
5) What is the name of Will Ferrell's character in the classic film Elf?
6) Which European country started the tradition of having Christmas trees?
7) What drink, which is traditionally drunk on Christmas Day, has the ingredients two parts champagne and one part orange juice?
8) Which popular Christmas song is the highest-selling UK single of all time to not reach #1 in the charts?
9) What year did Home Alone get released?
10) Which one of Santa's reindeers are missing from the list - Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph?
ANSWERS!
1) Green
2) 1987
3) 26
4) 364
5) Buddy
6) Germany
7) Bucks Fizz
8) 'Last Christmas'
9) 1990
10) Cupid
Read more:
15 wonderful facts about Christmas
Top 10 most popular places to hide Christmas presents revealed
QUIZ: Guess the Christmas song from the iconic lyrics