Abuse victim warns Teesside youngsters about controlling relationships
Julie* was with a controlling partner for 15 years, and got to the point when she couldn't even order for herself in a restaurant.
A Redcar woman who spent 15 years in a controlling relationship is warning young girls in our region that having a controlling partner isn't normal.
The lady, who're we're calling Julie, become so controlled she even stopped ordering for herself in restaurants.
It's as new figures from Women's Aid shows a third of young women between the ages of 16 and 24 admit they've been in a controlling relationship.
One in five women only realised they were in a controlling relationship once the relationship was over.
Julie wants to warn young women how easily controlling behaviour can slip into day-to-day life.
She said: "If I went into town shopping, I had to keep all bus tickets and all receipts for everywhere.
"He would check the times and if there was any discrepancy he would question me.
"He would say we were going out, so I would get dressed up.
"And he would say 'you're not going out like that'.
"Everything you did although you were always trying to please them, you were never doing good enough for them.
"You always have that in the back of your mind."
Julie regularly attends a coffee morning at EVA Women's Aid in Redcar, where women like her can get help.
Rashinda Taylor is manager, she said: "We're talking about having lack of self-esteem, low confidence.
"If the decision-making is taken away from you, you become unable to make those decisions yourself.
"That can have an impact on lots of other elements of a person's life.
"What happens to us in our formative years sets us up for the rest of our life.
"Unless you realise you're in something that's an unhealthy relationship, it's difficult to break that pattern."
You can get in touch with EVA Women's Aid on 01642 490677 or email info@eva.org.uk.
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