'People were blaming me' - Lancashire mum breaks stigmas around baby loss
Amy Ballantyne from Garstang lost her son Louie in 2019, at just four days old
Last updated 27th Nov 2023
The mother and father from Garstang are urging more people to speak out about baby loss after losing their four-day-old son.
Martin and Amy Ballantyne from Garstang had a young daughter in 2019 when they fell pregnant. Sadly, they suffered a miscarriage and lost that baby. One year later, Amy became pregnant again and in spring 2021, in the middle of a global pandemic, baby Louie was born at Lancaster Infirmary.
Immediately though, there was a problem as the placenta had ruptured and Louie was placed into critical care.
The family was transferred to Royal Preston Hospital where they went under the care of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) team, where staff did everything they could for baby Louie, but sadly he passed away four days later.
Following his death, both Amy and Martin were left to deal with some of the stigmas around baby loss.
Amy told us:
"There was people crossing the road to avoid me because they don't know what to say.
"There was people going as far as to blame me because they assumed I must have done something wrong, but of course I didn't do anything wrong at all.
"They just don't understand, until it' happened to you, you don't understand."
The couple suffered more stigmas after welcoming their rainbow baby Nathaniel a year later.
Amy said:
"Bringing a rainbow baby into the world, there was more stigma around that, we heard people say 'oh, they've forgotten about their other baby' ' don't you think it was rather soon' and it's not like that at all. The baby you've lost will always be your baby.
"We just want people to talk about the babies that they've lost, because they are real and they were here."
Martin and Amy are now fundraising for Baby Beat to say thank you for the support they received from the NICU and the bereavement team.
This year they are lighting up Garstang to raise awareness of baby loss as part of baby loss awareness week.
Dozens of local shops have got involved on the high street by putting pink and blue lights as well as teddy bears in their shop windows.