Study shows a lack of 'me time' for new mothers
Four universities worked on the research
Last updated 3rd Sep 2025
New research by four universities show new mothers only have about an hour out of their waking day for rest.
The Durham University-led research, published in the British Journal of Psychology, was conducted with colleagues at the University of York, Leeds Beckett University and University College London.
The study also shows that time ‘alone’ for new mothers is now always with their baby present and this time is rarely restful.
Instead, it is filled with non-stop chores and emotional overload leading to increased stress, loneliness and emotional exhaustion.
When mothers had even small amounts of quality me-time - where they were not looking after the baby or working for example - they felt better.
The researchers say their findings highlight the need for greater support to help parents get more quality me-time or at least breaks from childcare and chores.
They suggest looking to other countries where there are examples of government-subsidised services that assist with chores and cooking, easing the burden for new parents, especially those without support nearby.
Lead author, Dr Thuy-Vy Nguyen from the Department of Psychology at Durham University, said: “Our study shows that better support systems are needed so that mothers can have proper ‘me-time’, not just short breaks to get their chores done.
“If new mothers can have increased quality time for themselves, it shows they will feel better and less stressed.”
The study, based on interviews with 22 mothers and real-time activity tracking with 47 mothers, found that being alone with a baby doesn’t always feel like true solitude.
For many new mothers, it’s a mix of feeling isolated, responsible, and constantly on alert - even when no one else is around.
As one mother said: “When the baby naps, there is time to obviously do things, but I feel like I'm doing housework and as quickly as possible because they're gonna wake up at any minute.
“So I haven't had time to relax regularly or do anything that I want to do because I feel like there's so much that I have to do.”
On average, the mothers in this research had less than a third of their day for ‘personal time,’ scattered in short bursts.
This time included things like showering, eating, or walking, usually done quickly and often with interruptions.
The constant physical and mental multi-tasking left many feeling deprived of true me-time.
Many mothers feel like they are "always on", even during supposed breaks.
The emotional and mental demands of caring for a baby, combined with the loss of meaningful alone time, can increase feelings of loneliness and make it harder to recover from daily stress, the research suggests.
The largest share of mothers’ days, around 60 per cent, was spent at home, much of it devoted to childcare, which took clear priority.
Personal time often overlapped with chores, errands, and occasional social activities, while rest and relaxation tended to fall to the bottom of the list.
While many mothers turned to TV or music during quiet moments (like breastfeeding or babies’ naps), these activities were not linked to better moods.
In fact, more time spent on entertainment was sometimes associated with more stress or boredom.
The study also showed that loneliness in new mothers isn’t always about the lack of people around you.
It can come from a loss of personal identity, lack of meaningful social connections, or simply from feeling unsupported.
This is especially true for single mothers, those without family support, or those whose babies have additional needs.
The research was funded by the Economic and Social Research Council.