Buckie nurse describes 'guilt' at not being able to save father-in-law with CPR
Lynsey Duncan is now urging those who have been through a similar ordeal and are struggling, to contact a new support service
Last updated 2nd Nov 2023
A Moray mum is describing how she initially felt "guilty" at her father-in-law's death after trying to save him through CPR.
Lynsey Duncan rushed to John's aid after he suffered a cardiac arrest at his home in November 2021.
Despite her best efforts, he passed away and she didn't want to communicate her feelings to her family, in fear of interfering with their grief.
With the charity she works at, the nurse is now promoting a new service dedicated to helping those going through a similar experience.
Administering CPR to "someone you're close to" is "very different" - Lynsey Duncan
Before having to perform CPR on her father in-law, Lynsey had never administered the treatment to a member of her own family.
John was diagnosed with farmer’s lung – a respiratory disease caused by exposure to dust from hay, straw and grain.
His loved ones saw a deterioration in his health in the years leading up to his death and Lynsey knew something was seriously wrong when she was asked to go to her in laws on the day he died.
She said: "He was in the bathroom.
"As soon as I saw him, I knew he hadn’t fallen. I knew he’d collapsed. Pat (Lynsey's mother in law) was on the phone to 999, telling them John had fallen, but I took the phone and explained he had arrested, and we needed help right away.
“I started to perform CPR. I’m a nurse. I’ve done this before.
"But it’s very different to be doing this to someone you know, someone you’re close to.
“He had been propped up against the toilet. I got him on to the floor and started chest compressions.
"I spent 20 minutes doing this. And throughout all of this, my mother-in-law was standing watching.
"It was an awful experience."
Mum of two Lynsey explained how she "felt guilty" even though she had no reason to.
She added: "It was horrific for all of us, especially Pat. She kept saying ‘John wouldn’t want this’. She’d said that to me, but I’m a nurse – once I’d started the compressions, I couldn’t stop.
"And the paramedics were the same. They had to do everything possible.
“We then had to wait for the police to come because obviously this was a sudden death. And it was only when I was speaking to the police about what had happened that the enormity of it hit me.
"I kept going over it in my head, thinking ‘what just happened?’
"I had bruises on my hands and cuts on my knees from the force of sitting on the bathroom floor doing CPR for so long. I even lost a toenail because I’d been leaning so heavily on my toes.
"But I couldn’t share any of this with my family because they were grieving. I didn’t want to tell them I was worried I hadn’t done enough.
"I felt guilty even though I had no reason to."
It is estimated between 3000 and 6000 Scots are involved in providing CPR after cardiac arrest to members of the public every year.
Lynsey works with Chest Heart & Stroke Scotland (CHSS) who along the Scottish Ambulance Service, have launched the 'Out of Hospital Cardiac Arrest (OCHA) Aftercare project.'
She feels her own recovery would've been helped if there had been a helpline like the one she's helping to promote.
Lynsey said: "I’m a trained medical professional, but when a nurse friend called me the next day, I broke down when I told her what had happened.
"What I really needed was to talk to someone who wasn’t emotionally attached who could reassure me I’d done what I could.
"And that is hopefully what the Advice Line will be able to do for anyone involved in an out of hospital cardiac arrest."
Anyone wishing to contact the CHSS Advice Line can do so on 0808 801 0899 or emailing adviceline@chss.org.uk.