Bake Off: What on earth is going on?!

If you’re anything like us, you’ve been glued to the 24-hour news channels, mopping your brow with a sponge.

It’s been a Viennese whirl-wind of headlines ever since we heard that The Great British Bake Off was moving to Channel 4. The BBC clearly felt that Bake Off production company Love Production’s increased fee of £25 million per series was taking the biscuit, so instead Channel 4 have risen to the occasion and stumped up the bread to pay for it.

While we didn’t filo-verly worried about a few ad breaks shortening the running time, it was the next piece of news that caused cake-lovers to shed a few tiers. Mel (who presents a show here on Magic, you know) and Sue announced that they wouldn’t ‘follow the dough’ , and would be departing the show after the currant run of episodes. The prospect of Bake Off without Mel and Sue left us filling pretty low.

No doubt many discussions between presenters and production companies have taken place over the past week but until now they’ve been on a strictly knead-to-know basis. Surely, we thought, there can be no Bake Off without Mary Berry, but today’s news was to prove us wrong – Mary will be staying at the the BBC.

And as for Mr Hollywood? Well there is a small light at the end of the oven. Today it was announced that Paul will be staying on for at least three more series – scoring a few brownie points with us. But will the producers throw three new presenters into the mix? Will they play it safe, or take a whisk?

What will be the next big Bake Off news? Because we don’t know any butter, here are our five suggestions…

Paul Enforces a Bread-Only Regime

Left to his own devices, Paul Hollywood insists that only bread will be baked on the show. Endless variations of obscure rolls will be produced, interrupted only by the drumming of perfectly-baked loaf bottoms to herald the arrival of the great bread leader himself.

Strictly Come Baking

Back on the BBC and unable to use the existing Bake Off format, Mel, Sue and Mary announce Strictly Come Baking, the world’s first ballroom cookery programme. Celebrities compete to bake the best cake they can whilst performing a series of increasingly elaborate Waltzes, Foxtrots and Salsas.

Paul is paired with Davina McCall

Channel 4 resurrects a previously popular format to create Big Baker, featuring Britain’s top amateur bakers, incarcerated and cooking under 24-hour surveillance.

Baking With Berry

Freed from a freezing tent in Berkshire, Mary retreats to a lovely village hall and turns the heating right up. Twelve bakers all have a lovely time, frankly. There is no competition.

The Eggs Factor

Simon Cowell has previously expressed an interest in the Bake Off. ITV announces a rival show featuring where baked goods are either booed or given a standing ovation by a studio audience. The winning cake wins a recording contract and a chance at Christmas No.1.

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