Calls for change to IVF rules preventing step-mums accessing NHS help
A petition demanding action has reached over 15,000 signatures
Last updated 10th Aug 2021
Thousands of women across the UK are joining forces to try and bring about a change in IVF rules that prevent treatment on the NHS if you're already a step-mum.
It happened to Sarah Barker from Lincolnshire who was told she didn't qualify because her partner had a daughter from a previous relationship.
She's now set up a petition which has over 15,000 signatures calling for a fair deal, regardless of whether there's a step-child in the family.
"Time isn't on my side"
Sarah tells us she's done absolutely nothing wrong.
"If anything, I’ve sacrificed a lot of my life to help support my partner in partially raising his child with him and with her mum and step-dad.
"I’m already being betrayed by my own body, why should I be betrayed by the local CCGs that are basically enforcing this?"
"It's as if I'm being punished"
She said it's almost like you're grieving a child you've not had yet.
"I'm not having that opportunity to be able to be a mum and it's that craving you have, that heartache and longing for a baby.
"I was being told 5 years ago that I'm still young, don't worry about it.
"Nothing has changed over that time.
"I still haven't become pregnant, I still haven't had a baby, I still haven't had that opportunity."
WATCH: Sarah shares the moment she was told she'd be refused treatment.
Lincolnshire CCG can't comment on individual cases.
In a statement, it said the IVF policy is agreed across the East Midland CCGs, adopted by NHS Lincolnshire CCG and applies to any couple registered with a Lincolnshire GP.
"It sets out the eligibility criteria, which includes family structure, that applies irrespective of where patients have their treatment, and has been drawn up based on guidance issued by DHSC, Infertility Network UK and NICE Guidance CG156."
"We've now spent over £10,000 by going private"
But it's not just Sarah who has been impacted, women from across the country have come forward sharing their experiences too.
Klara Halpin from County Durham was turned down for NHS IVF because her partner has two sons from a previous relationship.
The clinic she used was over two hours away.
"You’re back and forth for scans and check-ups and you don’t really want to be travelling so then you’re staying in the cheapest hotels you can find.
"Everything starts building up."
She told us they've spent over £10,000.
"Luckily family have helped us out because we could never ever afford it on our own.
"All savings for buying a house or just that back-up money that you like to have in case your car breaks down or anything like that, that’s all gone.
"We don’t have that security anymore."
"You never get over it, you never do"
Caroline Maxwell from North Lincolnshire asked for help in 2008 and was turned down because her husband had a son from a previous marriage.
She faced a very difficult decision.
"The recession hit and you have to make choices, do you pay your bills and mortgage? Or do you pay for IVF?
"We decided we were going to pay our bills and mortgage so unfortunately; we couldn’t go private like they recommended us."
She told us she can't believe people are having to make these choices today.
"It was a horrible time and a horrible decision to have to make and yet there’s this young woman, who was in the same situation as me over 10 years ago and they’re still saying, 'no, you’re not having it'.
"It infuriates me, it makes me angry that they’re doing this."
"I saw hope in these women that actually change might happen"
Billie Barnes is co-founder of online support hub, The Step Mum Collective, who are backing the campaign.
She thinks that when there are people fighting your cause, even if they’re not going through it themselves, it gives the campaign more punching power.
"Society says as a step-mother you are not a mum, you will never be a mum, you are simply part of the family.
"But then when it comes to the receiving of IVF treatment, they say, no well you are a mum, you already have kids, which is a complete contradiction.
"So that’s why we really, really need to make the change."
"Society has this thing about evil step-mum's"
Jordan Smith is also co-founder of The Step Mum Collective, she told us the rules are devestating.
"These women who are looking after other people’s children are proving they deserve to have children of their own because they’re already doing the job of a mother but they’re just not getting the chance to carry their own children.
"It’s very clear that we’re not trying to be that child’s mum, we’re not trying to like, tread on anyone’s toes, but we love and care for those children like our own.
"But then in the eyes of the people who make the rules we basically are treated as though we do already have biological children of our own.
"So it’s a bit conflicting."
Discussed in Parliament
The campaign has already been raised in Parliament by Sarah's local MP, Dr Caroline Johnson.
"Mr Speaker, IVF treatment is a lifeline for many people desperate to conceive like my constituent Sarah Barker who dreams of being a mother but sadly suffers from an infertility problem.
"Sarah is being refused IVF treatment on the grounds that her partner already has a daughter from a previous relationship.
"Her petition to stop denying women fertility treatment for this reason has already reached almost 13,000 signatures.
"Does my Right Honourable Friend agree with me that treatment for infertility should be available based on the medical needs of the women involved, and not affected by the partner that she has fallen in love with having a child from a previous relationship."
"We are aware of some variations in access, and we are looking at how we can address that"
Health Minister Helen Whately agreed to look into it.
"Could I thank my Honourable Friend for raising this question and the situation of her constituents.
"What I can say is that we expect Clinical Commissioning Groups to commission fertility services in line with NICE guidelines so that there is equitable access across England.
"We are aware of some variations in access, and we are looking at how we can address that.
"Very specifically CCGs should not be using criteria outside that NICE fertility guidance."
"I didn’t realise there was a restriction"
Dr Caroline Johnson is now going to challenge local health bosses on the decision.
"If a woman has fertility problems and wants treatment for it then she should be entitled to that treatment regardless of whether the partner she’s wanting to have those children with has a child previously or not, because it’s her health problem that we’re treating.
"If the situation was reversed and she had a child, and he didn’t, then it would be his problem that we’re treating health wise.
"NHS treatment should be available to everybody"
Caroline has made this promise to people affected.
"I will do my very best to ensure that these services are available to you.
"I understand that what you’re facing must be unbearably difficult and I will do everything I can to help to get these services for you."
"Really, really cruel is the only way I can describe it"
Welsh MP Alex Davies-Jones was told she can’t have IVF because her partner already has a child with someone else too.
She was forced to go private as a result.
"It adds to that shame of not only being unable to conceive a child but then having that rejection and having that door slammed in your face and another barrier instilled in front of you to be able to have a family.
"For us to be able to go private we had to save a lot of money, we were helped out by parents and we also took out some money from loans in order to fund the treatment.
"It can be incredibly tough and heartbreakingly and financially difficult for a lot of people.