Top ten Christmas jokes for 2023 revealed...

The public have been voting and here are the results

Sharing Christmas cracker jokes
Author: Jamie WilliamsonPublished 5th Dec 2023

The festive funnies are back as the best Christmas Cracker jokes for 2023 have been revealed.

This year has seen its fair share of eventful news stories; from the cultural phenomenon ‘Barbenheimer’ and the tumultuous transport strikes, to the controversial rebranding of Twitter to /X.'

TV channel Gold relaunched its search for the best modern festive jokes that put a comedy twist on the news agenda or pop culture highlights from the year.

The top ten Christmas jokes of 2023 are....

1. Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum?

It was Stollen.

2. Why is Elon Musk's Christmas dinner so awkward?

He can't stop talking about his X.

3. Why isn’t Barbie having turkey for Christmas dinner this year?

Chic-Ken is enough.

4. Why aren’t any schools allowed to put on a nativity this year?

They couldn’t find a stable building.

5. What impact will the 20mph speed limit in Wales have on the charts this year?

Chris Rea will be driving home for Easter.

6. What happened to Mark Zuckerberg’s novelty jumper when he had a cage fight with Elon Musk?

He was left with nothing but Threads.

7. What's the difference between The Polar Express and HS2?

One's a fantasy about a train and the other's a film with Tom Hanks.

8. What did Robert Oppenheimer get Barbie for Christmas?

Atomic Kenergy.

9. Why are the train drivers on the naughty list this year?

Because they've already had three strikes!

10. How does Margot Robbie decorate her Nativity scene?

With 3 wise Ken.

Now test your knowledge with our Ultimate Christmas Quiz:

1) What colour was Father Christmas' suit originally?


2) What year did The Pogues release Christmas classic 'Fairytale of New York'?


3) If you combine the number of drummers drumming, ladies dancing and gold rings from 'The Twelve Day Of Christmas', how many gifts will you have?


4) How many gifts in total were given in 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' Song?


5) What is the name of Will Ferrell's character in the classic film Elf?


6) Which European country started the tradition of having Christmas trees?


7) What drink, which is traditionally drunk on Christmas Day, has the ingredients two parts champagne and one part orange juice?


8) Which popular Christmas song is the highest-selling UK single of all time to not reach #1 in the charts?


9) What year did Home Alone get released?


10) Which one of Santa's reindeers are missing from the list - Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph?


ANSWERS!


1) Green


2) 1987


3) 26


4) 364


5) Buddy


6) Germany


7) Bucks Fizz


8) 'Last Christmas'


9) 1990


10) Cupid


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