14 things you'll only know if you hate clubbing
“Let’s go to a nightclub” those five words you spend your life avoiding. Here's 15 things you'll only know if you hate clubbing, is this you?
“Let’s go to a nightclub” those five words you spend your life avoiding. However, no matter how hard you try, you can’t avoid it forever. Surely it can’t be that bad? WRONG. It’s far worse. 1. Entry Fees If you’re lucky, you’ll get a free shot to go with it. As if that makes it all better.
2. The annoying unwashable green stamp that is forced onto your hand No worries, people will just have to think I don’t own a shower for the next couple of days. Thanks for that.
3. Losing half of your drink to the dance floor Oh well, it’s not like I paid a small fortune for that. I’ll probably slip over on it later anyway.
4. The worry your ears might explode Quite loud in here, isn’t it?
5. Inevitably losing your friends Like losing your mum in a shop, but far more intense…and with deafening music.
6. You're desperate to sit down... But there's nowhere to sit. Best just prop up the bar instead...
7. The photographer wanting to take pictures of you and then making you pay for the privilege No thanks mate, I’ll probably just take some pictures on my phone. My eyes are closed in your picture anyway.
8. Bar prices How much?! Do I get silver service with that?
9. The realisation that you’re going to lose your voice for the next few days There’s only so many times you can watch your friends shouting ‘WHAT?’
10. Those hideously sticky dancefloors Kiss goodbye to the soles of your shoes.
11. Queuing at the bar Absolute free for all. Good luck getting to the front.
12. That amazing feeling of leaving It’s like leaving a sauna. A stressful, painful sauna.
13. The quest to find some room to breathe Surely there is a bit of space somewhere. Oh, next to the toilets. Nice.
14. “Where shall we go next?” Those dreaded words. Quick, jump in a cab when no one is looking!