Newby and Scalby menopause group lifts lid on issues they face
Menopause Meet formed at the Hub community centre in Newby and Scalby this year
A group near Scarborough is leading the way in making a dramatic improvement to women’s lives by lifting the lid on issues they face during the menopause.
Menopause Meet formed at the Hub community centre in Newby and Scalby this year, offering 10 two-hour sessions in which 12 women shared their stories about how the menopause affected them, as well as receiving expert advice.
The women met as strangers but they are producing a nude calendar to raise awareness, raise fund and support women.
This comes amid calls for the Government to make the menopause a protected characteristic and to require employers to provide reasonable adjustments for menopausal employees.
Menopause Meet
The initial idea for Menopause Meet came from Tina Boden, then micro-business consultant for the Hub, a community centre run by Newby and Scalby Town Council. She championed a grant application to North Yorkshire County Council’s stronger communities team, which helps communities to help themselves. This secured £1,000 to start the group.
But the driving force behind the group and the calendar is Helen King, the head of support services at the Hub.
Helen said: "Tina stepped out and I took on devising the group. Initially, it was going to be a group of ladies getting together to talk about the menopause. However, just after we were awarded the grant, there was a Davina McCall programme about the menopause.
"I realised we needed to be dealing with other issues, not just sitting around talking. So I contacted our gynaecology consultant at the hospital, who agreed to be my clinical support for this course. She spoke about what happens to a woman’s body during the menopause. It was amazing. She stepped in and out during the 10 sessions, forming a bond.
“We also did dance through the menopause, which was for relaxation. To get 12 ladies who didn’t really know each other in a room after five weeks, without a drink, dancing away and laughing their heads off was a sight to be seen.
“We did focus therapy, about panic and anxiety and how our brains work during the menopause. So many powerful women have walked away from big roles or lost their jobs because of brain fog or just not being able to cope.
“On week one these ladies walked into the room, some of them quite broken and in need of help. We threw the tissues up and down the table in the first two or three weeks. As it progressed, they formed bonds and friendships. It is a lifelong friendship group now.
“I think it’s the pinnacle of my career to see these women at the end of 10 sessions empowered, resolved – because many of them had been to their GPs and knew exactly what to say – and able to talk to husbands, partners, work colleagues, each other, without it being taboo.
“Several of the girls have offered to help with future groups. They can talk about anything now, whereas when they first came through that door they didn’t know what they could talk about, what they could share, they were in tears, they felt embarrassed.”
The calendar
The calendar is being shot around Newby and Scalby, using settings ranging from the Hub and the chemist’s to the cricket and rugby clubs and allotments. It will be A3 size and each page will include a menopause fact, useful links and a large area in which women can note anything from appointments to how they are feeling.
Helen added: "It is going to be very much for ladies around the country, not just locally. We hope sales will fund events like train the trainer groups, giving employees from larger companies a full day of training that they can take back to the workplace and form their own support groups.”
The calendar will be called Seeing You Through the Menopause 2023. The group has teamed up with Sam Noble Eyeware in the parish and each member will be wearing different-coloured spectacles.
The calendar will be launched on 13 October, in time to mark World Menopause Day on 18 October. For details of how to buy a calendar, visit thewebsiteor call Helen King on 07849 690327.
Group members
Louise Smith
Louise Smith joined the group because in 2019 she was having a tough time with perimenopause, which was made worse by being unable to get an appointment with a doctor during the pandemic.
“For me it was just brilliant,” she said. “It was 12 women I’d never met before, so it was scary at first, yet they were 12 women who all had a story similar to mine.
“This wasn’t just about medical treatments, this was about everything that you could do to try to make life a little better while going through the menopause. It aligned with how I was feeling about it, because I felt physically and emotionally unwell, and trying to cope with hot flushes, lack of sleep and everything that went along with it.
“I burst into tears in the first session, because I felt overwhelmed. One of the other ladies, Sheila, said can I give you a hug. She walked around the room and gave me a hug and said we are all in the same boat. I was ready to walk out, because I felt in an awful place, but Sheila’s hug made me stay.
“The person I was in 2020 is totally different to the person I am now, because I felt confident to go back to the doctor and be insistent and get a treatment programme, because I had the knowledge from the group I wasn’t pushed around.”
Of the calendar, she said: “This is about sharing information that will help other people. A lot of it is about where women can get information and a way of tracking symptoms. People can record how they feel, whether they have appointments.”
Sarah Marton
When Sarah Marton, who is a children and families worker at North Yorkshire County Council, joined the group she was struggling with symptoms like brain fog and difficulty remembering things, including names.
“I was really nervous about going,” she said. “I am really active about helping other people, but perhaps not so good at helping myself. But it was such a welcoming group. Immediately, just listening to other people saying things I could relate to lifted a weight from my shoulders.
“It made me feel like I was not on my own. It was really powerful to be among other people who were sharing the same experience. Laughter was so important, too. We laughed so much and I made new friends who will be lifelong friends.
“The strength of the group is the power of being connected with other people, being able to connect with someone else and know that you are not on your own.”
The county council’s executive member for stronger communities, Cllr Greg White, said: “This is exactly the sort of initiative our stronger communities programme is designed to support. It shows how modest financial input can nurture the seed of a big idea. Increasing awareness of issues around the menopause and support for women experiencing it is important and topical, and this North Yorkshire group is at the forefront of addressing them.”
Joining the group
The second Menopause Meet course is already full, but women can contact Helen King to put their names down for future groups. Contact her at helenking@newbyandscalby-tc.gov.uk or on 07849 690327.
“Groups are starting to take place around the country, because of the Davina McCall programme, but there are not many,” she said. “There are menopause cafes, where ladies can come together, have tea and coffee and talk about the menopause, but what makes us unique is that we’ve had the consultant’s input. We want to take the taboo away.”
The Scarborough group is happy to advise people interested in setting up their own support group elsewhere.