North Yorkshire Mum urges other SEN parents to seek support
Amy Crabtree from Whitby spent years worried to leave the house before getting help from a local charity
Parents of children with special educational needs in North Yorkshire are sharing their stories - in the hopes it'll stop others feeling isolated and alone.
Amy Crabtree from Whitby has a 3 year old daughter with additional needs.
She says she spent 2 years feeling like she couldn't leave the house before she got support from WISH a local volunteer lead charity.
"People would stop inviting us to parties"
Amy explains: “Annabelle is in a special educational needs provision within her nursery and they started to use the sensory room at WHISH, which is how I became involved,”
“We were at the point where we wouldn't go out in public or we wouldn’t go on a family day out because of how Annabelle would react in public situations. People would stop inviting us to parties because of how Annabelle behaves, or what they perceive as her behaviour.
“At nursery, she doesn’t have common ground with children, it is like she ghosts them and looks straight through them, but here, she knows she can be herself. If a child screams for no reason, it doesn’t matter. No one cares. She is surrounded by people who have an understanding of those with additional needs so you never feel alone, only safe.”
Hidden impairments are conditions which may not be obvious to other people, such as autism, learning difficulties, diabetes and depression.
Thanks to WHISH, children living with hidden impairments are able to enjoy horse riding, swimming and gardening - which has been a real lifeline for Amy after previously struggling to come to terms with her daughter’s differences.
Amy said, “I was rock climbing with Annabelle this morning, which we would never have done a few months ago, and the other week I was watching her as she was laughing on the bouncy castle with other children.
“I just stood there in tears. These are things she has never done before and when I look at her and see her happy, it makes me happy.”
She added, “Annabelle has limited speech and communication and has not met social and emotional milestones. She hasn't had an official diagnosis but it has been discussed that she is displaying traits of ASD Autism Spectrum Disorder. We noticed very early on that she was different, but my husband and I buried our heads in the sand.
“We said it was because she was a Covid baby, and it has taken us really until the last six months to accept that Annabelle is different. We have also had to accept the way we felt, because we did grieve for everything we thought we were going to have and the way our lives are very different to what we expected it to be before she was born.”
Since Amy has become a member of WHISH, she also has made her own group of friends, and has grown in confidence as a parent.
She said, “I’ve exchanged numbers with some of the parents and we have been talking about schools for next year. It’s nice to be able to talk to parents who have that common ground and who will be looking at schools for additional needs like I will be.
“Being part of this community project has just been life-changing for me. If we didn’t have WHISH we would still be shut up in our house not knowing what to do and not having people around us to help. We are so grateful.”
With the help of a £39,925 grant raised through The Health Lottery, the small team at WHISH are able to offer their services to 114 families each year, and help support children with 54 different hidden impairments, though ASD and ADHD attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is their biggest cohort.