Leeds woman who lost baby at 41 weeks urges others to talk about grief

This Baby Loss Awareness Week there are calls for more people to talk about the grief surrounding stillbirth and miscarriage.

Each year around 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss, yet many parents suffer in silence as they struggle to find ways to cope.

Colleen Anderson lives in Leeds and lost her daughter Isobel at 41 weeks. As she went into labour she thought she was going to have a normal birth. But when doctors couldn't find a heartbeat, she was told her daughter had tragically died.

She said: "The hours turned into a blur, they tried hooking me up to the monitors but they couldn't find a heartbeat, then they brought somebody else in to find the heartbeat and then they brought in a scanner...

"It's just a parade of people in and out of your room wanting to give you the worst news of your life as well as trying to comfort you in any way they know how.

"I remember just feeling really numb. When everyone was telling me, I was just removed from reality. It didn't make sense."

But sadly Colleen is not alone. 8 babies are stillborn every day in the UK.

Gaynor and Ben from Halifax were devastated when their daughter Kallipateira was stillborn in 2018. Sadly, their second pregnancy also ended in miscarriage in 2019.

They have also been sharing their story in an effort to help other speak out more about this terrible form of grief.

Gaynor said: "You do feel in a very lonely world. It's a very taboo subject is miscarriage and stillbirth.

"I feel society's happy when your baby is ok, but once your baby dies that's it, society is very very different."

Following the loss of their two children, Ben and Gaynor went on to seek specialist help through the Rainbow Clinic in Manchester. Their healthy rainbow baby Apollon was born during lockdown in 2020.

For Colleen, she says a combination of counselling and support from a bereavement midwife has been invaluable.

She said: "Baby loss has affected every facet of my life and will do forever.

"But we are really lucky here in Leeds. We've got an amazing charity called Charlie's Angels that help provide bereaved parents support groups as well as a dedicated bereavement midwife.

"I can't say enough amazing things about her she's just been so great. She's just a great emotional support and we are so lucky to have all of these people that want to help you."

Colleen is now hoping for support like this across the country to help parents going through this know where to turn and know they're not alone.