#HarmLESS BLOG

One of the worst things about self-harm is that hardly anyone understands it. Most people don't even really know what it is. So...What is it?

Self-harm is an act to harm or punish yourself. Be it cutting, burning, pinching, hair pulling, even eating disorders and alcohol and drug abuse falls under subject.

A lot of people can't even fathom why someone would do something like that to themselves, so let me try to explain...

Imagine being so upset or angry that you can almost feel the blood boiling under your skin; as if you feel that the pressure is building up and you feel like you might physically explode if you don't release it in some way, and the only way you know how to release that pain is in a physical way.

It's a lonely, confusing and frightening state of mind. And a lot of people will act the wrong way or distance themselves when they find out that someone is doing it. So here are a few things to remember if you know or suspect someone of self-harming:

Don't get Angry:----------------

HEYGUESSWHAT?! If someone is feeling so awful that they are resulting in self-harm, then you shouting in their face isn't going to cheer them up. It's hard to understand, it's scary, but it's just as hard to understand and scary for them as it is for you. So instead of demanding answers, just let them know that you're there for them, let them know they can talk to you any time, and let them know that you're not going to pass judgement on their actions. Reassure them help is out there. Offer to go to the doctors with them. And most of all…just be there.

I saw a brilliant picture posted on Facebook recently for mental ill health and it pretty perfectly shows how you can help someone who is feeling depressed:

!http://content.bauerweb.co.uk/harmless/harmless_blog.gif (Source: robot-hugs.com/nest)

This is so perfect because it shows that you don't need to have the answer to someone's problems (although blanket forts usually help), all you need to do is be there.

Not everyone who self-harms wants to kill themselves:-----------------------------------------------------

There's this common misconception that if someone is self-harming they are trying to kill themselves. But self-harming is a coping mechanism; a way to deal with and release the pain they are feeling. Tragically, sometimes this isn't enough and the end result is suicide, but that doesn't have to be the case. If you're worried about someone, or if you're self-harming, there is help out there, and you can get better.

Don't assume they're just attention seeking:--------------------------------------------

Another common misconception is that if someone is cutting themselves they are just attention seeking. But a lot of people do their best to hide their scars because they don't want people to know. It's not attention seeking, it's someone suffering and not having an alternative way to deal with it. And if you're absolutely 100% sure that "nah, they're definitely just looking for attention" have you ever tried maybe giving that person attention? Because if someone is going to the lengths of inflicting pain upon themselves to get your attention, then chances are they need help.

It's more common than you think:--------------------------------

According to a Childline survey, eight in every ten 18 - 21 year olds said they've self-harmed or know someone who has. Which is a frightening statistic, but also shows you're not alone, and there are people out there who understand and feel the same.

Educate Yourself----------------

The internet is a thing. Use it.

I've already said that you don't need to have all the answers, but you can help more by educating yourself on self-harm. There are so many websites which better explain signs of depression or self-harming, you can find blogs where you can read about people's personal experiences and what helped them get through. There are plenty of phone numbers where you can call and talk to people who can give you advice. The more you do to understand what someone is going through, the more they will realise you care and you want them to get better. If you, or someone you know is self-harming, get confidential support and advice from the following services:

YoungMinds - www.youngminds.org.uk -------------------------------------------------------------------

SelfharmUK - www.selfharm.co.uk------------------------------------------------------------

ChildLine - 0800 1111 or on www.childline.org.uk for online chat or email.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------