Baby loss: bereaved dad opens up about loss of son
Andrew, from Brighton, is raising awareness to the heartbreak parents face after losing a child
13 babies die in the UK each day through miscarriage, still birth, pregnancy complications and neo-natal death.
The effects can be devastating and long lasting.
At the start of Baby Loss Awareness Week 2022, we're opening up the conversation and creating a platform for parents who would like to share their stories to speak out.
We'll hear how they were impacted personally, we'll take a look at the long-term consequences of baby loss, and we'll provide links to support services where you can find more information.
Andrew's story
Andrew's son, Elian, was stillborn at 36-weeks' gestation in April 2018 after trying to conceive through IVF for seven years.
With a relatively healthy pregnancy, his wife noticed the baby wasn't moving and they were soon told their child had died in the womb.
Andrew, from Brighton, told us: "I don't think about that particular moment very often, but when I do it's just like the whole world has completely fallen apart.
"I didn't know how to react. I've never seen or heard the noise that my wife made before or since - It was just absolute anguish."
Andrew said the support they received in the bereavement suit was exceptional, but one difficult moment stands out.
His wife lost a lot of blood after birth and was wheeled into a recovery room where other women had just given birth to healthy babies.
He said: "The Porter said 'congratulations' because they hadn't got the message or the full story of what happened.
"They just thought we were like any other couple. I was Dumfounded. I couldn't say anything."
Andrew has been raising awareness to the heartbreak parents face after losing a child.
He is a member of charity Sands and plays for its football team Sands United, which was set up for bereaved fathers.
Supporting other parents who've experienced baby loss
Andrew says the effects of losing a son will stay with him forever, but time is the biggest healer: “I remember people trying to be helpful by saying, ‘oh, don't worry you’ll have another child’.
“That's not what I wanted to hear at that moment."
He added: “You will always love your child; you'll always miss them and you'll always wish that they were still around.
“But, day by day, things do get easier over time.”
Andrew and his wife have since had another boy.
He told us they are starting to teach him about his brother - who will always be part of their family.
Baby Loss Awareness Week
We'll be hearing more stories from people like Andrew throughout the week, plus we'll be looking at what services are like nationally and locally to support parents and their families experiencing baby loss.
There are organisations and resources available where you can get support.
The Baby Loss Awareness Alliance has links to national and local services.