Bury St Edmunds mum who lost twin boys says time off work after is crucial for recovery
Experts say sick leave is an “inappropriate and inadequate form of employer support” after such a pregnancy loss
A committee of MPs has recommended that couples should be entitled to paid bereavement leave if they go through a miscarriage.
Sick leave is an "inappropriate and inadequate form of employer support" for couples after such a pregnancy loss, the Women and Equalities Committee said.
Currently, parents who lose a child before 24 weeks of pregnancy are entitled to paid leave, but there isn't anything in place for bereaved parents who lose a child before then.
The committee is now pushing for the allowance of a paid two-week leave period so that all parents have time for their grief.
An estimated more than one in five pregnancies end before 24 weeks, with between 10% and 20% of pregnancies ending in the first 12 weeks, known as early miscarriage.
"I was so scared to go into work"
Greatest Hits and Hits Radio spoke to Isobel Ewing from West Suffolk Sands, a baby loss bereavement group in Bury St Edmunds.
This meant she wasn't entitled to time off from work, but her employer gave her and her partner paid time off anyway:
"My bosses and my husband's bosses were brilliant. They fully accepted that we needed time off. We were both paid sick leave."
Isobel had around three months off work before returning, during which her supervisors and some of her colleagues had reached out her to see how she was doing.
She said: "I think after two or three weeks my my husband went back.
"He was put on to gradual duties and slowly worked his way back into normal full-time work and the same happened with me. I went back on a phased return."
She explained that she was able to go into work a week before retuning which allowed her to confront her worries: "I was terrified.
"I was so scared to go in. I'm glad I could go in and have a coffee and just see people - that was a benefit for me."
"It's astounding. It's unbelievable"
Isobel feels very lucky for the support she received nearly three decades ago and feels that should be standard for parents experiencing grief: "I think it would be lovely to see something written down in law to say that parents have a minimum of two weeks.
"...For mums and dads to go back to work now, 27 years later, having lost a baby and to be facing the same or worse treatment, or worse consideration, I just think it's astounding. It's unbelievable.
"...It's got to start somewhere."
"There was nothing that they could do to help their wife or their partner"
Isobel also want's to see more support for the partner that didn't carry the child: "I think there's always room for improvement.
"A lot of the time, the focus is on the mum because the mum has gone through the physical side of things as well as the mental (side of things).
"But for the dads to be given that time off too is good. It's a good place to start.
"Most of the dads who come to our group say they just feel absolutely hopeless, that there's nothing that they can do. There was nothing that they could do to help their wife or their partner.
"They've felt they couldn't do anything and they've let the partners down. They've let themselves down, left their baby down.... but that's not the case."
"It would allow them time to grieve instead of having to mentally pack things away in their minds"
Jessica Rudd is also a Befriender and Hospital Liason Officer for West Suffolk Sands, she believes miscarriage leave is important due to how many people are impacted:
"1 in 4 people experience a miscarriage and it’s thought that 50% of us know someone who has had a miscarriage. Yet all these people are just expected to carry on their job roles and to perform well whilst they grieve the loss of their baby/pregnancy.
"Personally I think if there was miscarriage leave it would benefit many bereaved parents' mental health as it would allow them time to grieve instead of having to mentally pack things away in their minds to be able to focus enough to get through the days at work.
"For women/birthing people, I think the strain of having to continue working whilst physically going through a miscarriage must have a huge effect on that person's wellbeing.
"I think it’s equally as important for the father/partner to have miscarriage leave too.
"They need to have time to process the loss of their baby/pregnancy instead of having to focus on work too.
"If miscarriage leave was given to employees it would take away the worry about being paid for taking time off to grieve. causing less financial strain on bereaved parents”