"There was no escape" - Jack's story of lockdown domestic abuse

He's opened up as part of our special investigation #OnTheInside

Author: Ben BasonPublished 29th Sep 2020
Last updated 29th Sep 2020

Survivors of domestic abuse in South Yorkshire are bravely speaking out about their terrifying ordeals during lockdown for our #OnTheInside investigation.

All week we're going behind closed doors to reveal a shocking rise in incidents and look at what's being done to keep victims safe as we enter a second wave of coronavirus.

We've been speaking to Jack, whose name we've changed to protect his identity.

He suffered physical, emotional and financial abuse at the hands of his family in Sheffield for years and tells us he'd always accepted it as the norm:

"It's not something that I'd ever identified as abuse. Then with the lockdown and everything happening, I was put into a situation where my main abuser was going to be moving into the same household as me, making my situation exponentially worse.

"It saw a very gradual increase in the abusive behaviours. It effectively led me to a point where I saw myself as having two choices which was try to find help or things have become that desperate I was close to taking my own life."

With lockdown restrictions effectively trapping him in a home with his abusers, Jack felt like he had nowhere to turn.

It was only when he was close to suicide that he reached out for help:

"These people were around me twenty four hours a day, seven days a week and there was no escape from it. I couldn't get out.

"It was largely that feeling of being trapped and cornered that pushed me to the point of feeling my only recourse might be to take my own life.

"It was one particularly bad night where I chose to send an email out to Victim Support.

"It's only through the quick actions of people that got me out of that situation. I was at a point where if it had gone on much longer...I didn't see another way out and I firmly believe that would have been the way out I would have taken."

Victim Support got back to Jack the next day, clearly worried about what he'd told them of his situation.

They passed him on to the Independent Domestic Abuse Service or IDAS, the main organisation which provides support for domestic abuse in Sheffield and Barnsley.

IDAS workers helped Jack escape his home and flee abuse to emergency accommodation.

Jack says he worries for others in a situations similar to his, and what a second lockdown might mean for them:

"Those small periods in a day where somebody might be free of their abuser are now gone, or were effectively gone.

"The longer you stay in a toxic situation, it doesn't become less toxic, it becomes more so. So I definitely think that lockdown has had a seriously negative impact on people trapped in domestic abuse situations."

Although the majority of domestic abuse victims are women, it's a common stereotype that only females are affected.

And the support on offer is for anyone going through abuse, regardless of their gender.

Jack is urging people to come forward if they need help:

"Whilst growing up and throughout my younger life, it's not really something that is made clear that males can experience too. I think that's one of the reasons I didn't recognise it as abuse.

"Reach out. Ask those questions. Anyone going through such negative experiences deserves an opportunity at a good life."

You can find links to domestic abuse support here.

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