'I was dreading Christmas': Woman shares tale of Christmas freedom from abuse
Annie was help flee her abusive husband by Wiltshire charity FearFree
A woman who fled an abusive relationship last Christmas has shared her story in a bid to help others in a similar situation.
Annie, which isn't her real name, turned to Wiltshire based charity FearFree for help after her husband of over 20 years had abused her.
She said the abuse started slowly, but got worse over time, to the point where he controlled everything she did.
"He would call me names, tell me what to wear, what to do, who I could speak too.
"He told me he did this because he loved me and over time I began to believe it. He was constantly having affairs. He gas lit me so I was wondering if I was in the wrong, perhaps he wasn’t cheating? Perhaps I was to blame? Perhaps it was ok if he did see other people?
"My self-esteem was at rock bottom."
After the last affair, Annie knew something had to change. She called the Police who helped her and the children to safety.
But the true extent of her husbands abuse became clear shortly after Annie left, when she discovered her husband had taken out loans in her name, leaving her and the children penniless.
She said: "I was thousands of pounds in debt, I was struggling to pay the rent. On top of this once our relationship ended, he didn’t provide any money towards looking after our children."
Annie was dreading Christmas, terrified her children would be upset as she had no money to spend on food let alone presents: "The closer it got to Christmas the worse it was, I didn’t think I was going to get through it," she said.
Police put Annie in touch with FearFree, who told her they could help.
The charity was able to make Christmas happen for the family, by helping find gifts for the children, ingredients for Christmas dinner and vouchers to get treats for the children, as well as a grant which meant their new home could be warm.
"Christmas looked different that year, but it was one of the best Christmases I have ever had," Annie said, adding: "It was peaceful and calm with no worries that he would hurt us or abuse us. I felt free. That Christmas me and my children became closer. I spent my time on them, and our bond became stronger."
But the support from FearFree didn't stop there, as they helped solve her financial doom, putting Annie in touch with debt advisors and reporting the fraudulent loans to the police.
Annie said: "I was worried about the effect everything was having on my work, but FearFree stepped in and talked to my manager, explaining why I needed some time out to deal with what was happening.
"I was so grateful for everything, and it helped me move forwards. After being told I was worthless for so long this made me feel like I mattered, and I am worth caring about."
Annie is continuing to rebuild her life and is hopeful others will follow in her footsteps.
FearFree is encouraging anyone suffering abuse, or worried about their behaviour, to seek out help and make this Christmas one of cheer, not fear.