Merseyside charity urges male domestic abuse survivors to reach out

Today is the very first 'Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Day' in the UK

Author: Rebecca RedicanPublished 2nd Nov 2022
Last updated 2nd Nov 2022

A Merseyside charity is raising awareness of male domestic abuse, with stats showing a third of all victims - are men.

Today is the first 'Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Day'.

It's been launched by the ManKind Initiative in partnership with more than 25 supporting organisations.

They want to raise awareness, as Office Of National Statistics show one in every six to seven men will become a victim of domestic abuse at some point in their lives.

Wirral based charity The Paul Lavelle Foundation was set up to support men who suffer domestic abuse in 2018, after Paul was stabbed to death by his partner in May 2017.

Paul Gladwell, co-founder of the Paul Lavelle Foundation, said they're supporting this campaign to try and prevent others suffering the same pain.

Paul told us: "We know the worst case sanario and if you don't do anything about it you could end up with the experience Paul's family and friends have and its horrific and that's going on daily still.

"You need to open up."

Paul Lavelle was just 50 when he was murdered after being attacked with a shard of a broken dinner plate during a dispute at his Birkenhead home.

Paul Lavelle was just 50 when he was stabbed to death by his partner after months of abuse.

Some men fear talking about their experience because of the reaction they think they will get.

Paul Gladwell told us: "So many are petrified of opening up because its an attitude of 'who's gonna believe me?

"6ft man here and a women here, 5ft nothing, who's abusing me' and we know that happens from what men tell us.

"We've had one man in our service who was told, by the authorities who he rang for support, to 'man up.'"

The Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Day encourages male victims to come forward and get help through their local domestic violence services or charities.

Paul Gladwell and Philly Killen when a group for the Paul Lavelle Foundation rode from Wirral to the Somme to raise money and awareness

Paul Gladwell said: "More and more have come to our doorstep.

"When you speak to the men who come to us, the hardest part for them is sometimes ringing the buzzer.

"We've got an intercom outside our office, and it's that hard they hesitate.

"But once they push it, none regret it whatsoever, they are very thankful."

The foundation offers fortnightly peer support groups.

Paul said: "They come along to meetings and they are finding out 'it's not just me', they are making friendships"

The charity also offers many activities for men, women and young people including running and cycling clubs to help improve self-esteem, confidence and well-being.

Mark Brooks OBE, Chair of the ManKind Initiative, said some men find it difficult to get support because of lacking awareness.

Mark said some men don't reach out for help: "Partly because they don't recognise they could be victims of domestic abuse because they don't hear much about it in the news or through leaflets.

"Also sometimes friends, family, colleagues and others don't think of domestic abuse as something that happens to men either.

"So they don't start the conversations with men who they link are in a bad relationship quickly enough

The campaign is using the social media hashtag #MenYouAreNotAlone to help raise awareness.

ManKind say its important to remember men trying to escape domestic abuse make up one third of domestic victims.

Mark said: “If we keep pushing the message that there is support, you are not weak, you are not to blame and you are not alone, then more men will come forward and receive the support they need.

"This will also include their children who are now covered by the new domestic abuse laws. This is why the message #MenYouAreNotAlone is so important.”

For advice or support contact The Paul Lavelle Foundation confidentially on 0151 651 377 or call ManKind on 01823 334 244.

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