Scunthorpe reality star Jake Quickenden admits that this time of year is still very 'raw' for him
Jake Quickenden opens up about his grief surrounding the loss of his brother and father, as Christmas is still a tough time for him
In the leadup to Christmas, reality star Jake Quickenden has opened up about the grief he feels this time of year when reflecting on the loss of his father and brother.
"I do find myself struggling in the run up to Christmas."
The reality star from Scunthorpe has been eager to speak out about the way to help someone dealing with grief following his own experience.
Jake's father Paul, passed away 13 years ago from bone cancer, and a few years later, his youngest brother Oliver then passed away - he was only 19 at the time.
The first Christmas was probably the toughest
Jake tells us how things are for him now, 13 years on from his father's death:
"This time of year is always a little bit raw for me, obviously I'm making memories now with my own family, so I've got my two year old baby and my stepson who's eight. So Christmas is a lovely, lovely time as well, but also I find it quite hard that my dad and my little brother aren't around anymore and it's not the same."
Jake went on to explain that it took him a long time to come to terms with the passing, and now realises the way he deals with his emotions and grief:
"The first Christmas was probably the toughest, I don't even think we really celebrated Christmas. I lost my dad in the October, so it was quite close to Christmas and it was quite a hard time, I think we opened a few presents but we didn't really celebrate and we all just got on with our day separately I think, and I wish that we all came together and spoke about it a bit more now. But we did that as the month and years that went on.
We kind of opened up a lot more and spoke about it a lot more."
Please open up and talk about your feelings
Now when Jake looks back he says he smiles and recalls happy memories, though he does admit "it's not the same" without them.
He says the message he'd like to pass on to others feeling the same way is to "share":
"Surround yourself with the people who you love the most, and don't feel like you're a burden by talking about your grief. The more you talk about it the easier it becomes, and sharing your grief makes it less hard to carry.
"So please, don't feel a burden, don't feel guilty about talking about loved ones on Christmas because you feel people don't wanna hear it. Trust me, people enjoy hearing about your happy moments.
"So please talk about it, please feel free to open up about it, and there is so much more help out there if you don't want to talk about it to people closest to you."
This year, he's celebrating as a family, with his wife Michelle, his son and stepson and will be enjoying a Christmas dinner with a walk afterwards.