A Newark mum who's son had no heartbeat says the grief will never be forgotten
Certificates recognising baby loss extended to all parents on baby loss awareness week
This baby loss awareness week, the government has announced all parents who have experienced losing a pregnancy can apply for a certificate formally recognising their loss.
Baby loss certificates were first launched in February 2024 but were only available to those who had experienced a loss since September 2018.
From today (9 September), this voluntary service will now be extended with no backdate allowing all parents who have suffered an historic pregnancy loss or a future loss to apply.
Our reporter has been out to speak with a mother from Newark, who lost her son when she 35 weeks pregnant, who is encouraging other parents who have lost a child to reflect and remember them.
Jay Lock was told her son Michael didn't have a heartbeat. She said it wasn't a worry to begin with because it can be difficult to find it during most screenings, but this time she was sent from the GP to the Hospital, which is where she found out.
"We were planning to have a baby, and when I'd got pregnant, I was incredibly happy. Then, I hadn't felt much movement for a while so I went for a scan and they couldn't find a heartbeat.
"You just don't believe it, because you never think something like that is going to happen to you. It's just shock, and you're just numb from it all, until... I would say it only really hit me when I gave birth, because I was still hoping that they'd got it wrong."
Jay was then induced and had a natural birth. She says the most important moment for her was after he was born:
"Once he was I got to spend time with my baby, they did handprints and footprints, and it's a terribly sad moment. But if you're ever in that position do as much as you can and be with them as much as you can."
Jay now has a rainbow baby, a child born after the loss of one, and she says it's magical:
"If you lose your first baby and the more you see your second one develop, and change and grow, you find you're thinking 'oh I missed that with my other'. Having had another one afterwards it makes you realise what you've missed out on, but at the same time, you have to move forward."
Throughout Jay's journey, her mother, and Michael's grandmother was with her. Jacqueline Anderson also spoke with us about what it was like when she found out:
"It was a real shock, it's a bit like your world collapsing. It had a big impact on me because it does touch your life. It is something that you never get past and it's very, very difficult, very emotional. Because everybody wants a baby at the end of their pregnancy. As Jay says, you do learn to live with it, but it never goes away."
Jacqui added that that from her point of view, it was also devastating:
"I think people forget that grandparents and siblings, do feel it too. It does touch everybody's lives.
"For my sons and their families, it touched on them a lot, because they have children of there own as well, so they know what it would feel like if they lost one. I think if you've had a child, you can relate to that, you know how you would feel losing one of them."
The government is committed to ensuring bereaved parents are supported during this difficult time, and that the impact and importance of their loss is recognised.
Health and Social Care Secretary Wes Streeting said:
“Losing a pregnancy can be deeply distressing - there is so much love and so many dreams for the future wrapped up in a tiny life. That's why it is important for bereaved parents to have the option to officially recognise the existence of their babies and how much they matter.
More than 50,000 certificates have been issued so far.
They remain free and optional for parents.
For baby loss information and support, please contact Sands by calling 0808 164 3332 or email helpline@sands.org.uk.