Siblings raped by dad speak of 'living nightmare' faced as children
Mark Doye and Gay Melrose have spoken out about their experience
Last updated 22nd Jun 2024
A Kent woman sexually abused by her dad as a child has said she's determined to leave the memories of what happened behind.
Gay Melrose was first raped by her father Brian at eight-years-old while her older brother Mark Doye was also abused.
Last month, Brian Doye was found guilty of 28 counts of child sex offences and sentenced to 28 years in prison, plus an extra two years' licence period after a trial at Swansea Crown Court.
Mark, now 52, and Gay, 56, has since waived their right to anonymity.
"It was a living nightmare"
Mark said: "It was a living nightmare of seeing my dad coming out of my sister's bedroom and the abuse I was getting, it was daily from when I was six until I left home at around 16-years-old," he said.
"The physical abuse of the beatings were daily, I had my wrist broken, I was sexually assaulted on at least three occasions; I can remember being raped on at least one occasion by my dad.
"You can't turn to anyone (at that age); you fend for yourself, you block every day away and you just survive."
Starting afresh
Mark, now 52 working as a site manager, moved to Cambridgeshire around 20 years ago to try and forget what had happened.
The abuse that Mark suffered also affected the relationship between himself and his children, such as being unable to bathe them.
But it was in 2022 when Mark saw Gay properly for the first time in around six years when giving statements to police ahead of the trial.
"Everything is a daze, you just exist"
Mark told us his feelings decades on from the time he was abused.
"You've brought everything out of your memory, everything is a daze, you don't trust anyone, you just exist at the moment and have done since it happened and we just want to change the way we feel," Mark said.
"We've tried to reconcile our relationship as brother and sister and tried to bury what happened to us in our childhood because it's ruined our childhood and most of our adult lives.
"We had no one we could talk to (as children) to get us out of that mindset and we still have that mindset of guilt not coming forward, the guilt of someone being in prison for the rest of their life; you need support."
"I had to take the rapes to save my brother"
Gay said she received abuse from her father to protect her brother.
"From 10 years old, I don't know how I did but decided I had to take the rapes to save my brother; my brother had the beatings and I took the rapes because I didn't want him to suffer that again," she said.
"I had no emotion to the rapes; I wasn't screaming or crying, you become emotionless as a child and I suppose you put it all away because you don't want to open it all back up.
"That is something that will never go away; you have two options, you can either dig your heels in and get on with your life or you can become the victim.
"We need to learn to speak out; if you're a survivor, a strong person, you need to move forward with your life even if you're in your forties, fifties or a young child now."
Who is Brian Doye?
Doye joined the London Fire Brigade as a firefighter in the early 1970s and later became an assistant divisional officer before he retired.
He volunteered as the local Father Christmas, as well as running a Saturday film club in Gravesend, Kent where he and his family lived.
Doye was also a local councillor in Gravesend, before buying a newsagents in south-east London and then later moving to Wales.
Doye, 77, from Ystalyfera, Wales was sentenced to 28 years plus an extended two-year period for offences against three separate victims he abused over four decades.
At the time of Doye's sentencing, Detective Inspector Sharon Gill-Lewis, from South Wales Police, said: "I hope that the sentence Brian Doye has received will give his victims some closure after all these years.
"His behaviour towards his victims over several years has been disgraceful; he clearly thought he could get away with his actions.
"We are robust in our stance against sexual offences, and today’s verdict sends a clear message that we will bring to justice those who sexually abuse and exploit children."
Support at hand
Speaking if the sentencing has given closure to Mark, he said: "It has given us closure knowing he can no longer abuse any other children, but it's now closure in our minds of this whole incident of what we've got to get rid of."
Mark and Gay have now set up a support group which they hope will encourage victims of child sexual abuse to talk about their experiences to help address the issue.
"By coming out and talking about may make other people realise if you talk about it, you can get it out of your head and lock it away permanently because it's not buried and if you let other people know, they can help you," he added.
"We'd like to have walk-in centres around the country where you can come in, meet people and speak to people who are trained but also victims themselves so they have the full empathy of what you're going through."