"We had the nursery ready and then all of a sudden we came home with empty arms"
A Harrogate mum who had a stillbirth at 35 weeks is sharing her story for Baby Loss Awareness Week
A Harrogate mum has told us "life will never be the same" after losing her son at 35 weeks.
Emma Lofthouse hadn't felt her baby, Charlie, move for a few hours so went to Harrogate hospital to get checked over where she was given the news that they couldn't find his heartbeat and that he'd died.
Losing Charlie came as a huge shock to Emma, who already had two children.
She went to the hospital on her own, leaving her husband to look after their son and daughter. She wasn't expecting to be told that their baby had passed away.
She said: "They turned the machine off and had to break the news to me that there was no heartbeat. To say it was a shock was an understatement. I had no idea that a pregnancy could get to 35 weeks and then a baby could just die.
"I thought to myself if you get to 12 weeks that's good, you have your check up at 20 and if that's fine everything is going to be OK but that wasn't the case."
Emma had no complications during her pregnancy and hadn't noticed that Charlie's movements had slowed down.
She gave birth to Charlie four days after she was told he had died, a time which she said "was a blur".
"From that day life was never really the same" she said.
"We returned home the day after but I found it incredible that I was just supposed to get on with life.
"I'd carried this precious child of ours for 35 weeks, we had the nursery ready and then all of a sudden we came home with empty arms.
"I had all my family around me but I felt so alone."
Emma wanted something positive to come out of her experience so founded Our Angels - a charity which offers support to families who have suffered stillbirths or antenatal deaths.
She also wanted the charity to improve the care and experience of parents in their darkest times, so she fundraised to provide Harrogate Hospital with memory boxes.
This would make sure every family was given something special to cling onto and to not leave the hospital empty handed.
She said: "I couldn't believe there wasn't a group like this in Harrogate and I didn't want any mother to feel alone.
"Losing Charlie I felt very strongly that I needed something positive to come out of our darkest time. I decided to set up a support group so that families could meet others who have suffered a loss like them and have someone to talk to so they don't feel alone."
The charity now fundraises thousands of pounds for Harrogate Hospital’s maternity ward and training for midwives across the county.
A newly renovated and renamed Bluebell Suite opened at Harrogate Hospital in October 2020 after the charity donated ÂŁ45,000.
It's a place for parents to stay after losing their baby, so they could spend as much time as they needed with their child.
This week is Baby Loss Awareness Week (9-15 October) and is now in its 19th year.
It's an opportunity to bring those who've lost a child together as a community and give anyone touched by pregnancy and baby loss a safe and supportive space to share their experiences and feel that they are not alone.
Each year a #WaveOfLight is created to remember all babies lost.