Gloucestershire charity to hold a baby loss remembrance event
Footsteps Counselling & Care is holding their second annual event for those affected by baby loss
The Snowdrops - A Baby Remembrance Ceremony is being held for a second year after positive feedback from its last event. The short, non-religious ceremony is being organised by Gloucester based charity, Footsteps Counselling and Care.
The charity, now in its tenth year, offers compassionate counselling for anyone in Gloucestershire going through pregnancy related issues.
Rachael Duggan lost her daughter Florence at Gloucester Royal Hospital in 2015, 38 weeks into her pregnancy. Having received support from Footsteps she wanted to use her experience to help others and became a volunteer and board advisor. She felt there wasn't a space for those grieving to process their loss in a non-religious way, leading her to organise the first Snowdrops event.
After losing her daughter Florence, Rachael Duggan says the event has "provided a legacy for my daughter,
"I can't introduce her to people as she's not here, but she's created a lasting legacy in the Snowdrops ceremony.
"She's helped dozens of people across the county, and I hope hundreds in the future."
Rachael added that the event filled a hole in the support provided within Gloucestershire, "I felt when I was looking to remember our daughter, there wasn't a place for me.
"One of my earliest dreams was to begin a non-religious remembrance service.
"You don't really get over something that traumatic.
"I was so busy organising the event, it didn't hit me until the LED candles were lit, the room was decorated, and the music started.
"I stopped, looked up and burst into tears and said, 'we've done it'."
Making A Change
Footsteps Counselling and Care has many volunteers who have unfortunately suffered from pregnancy related issues. Mike Warner became a trustee of the charity after him and his wife suffered from 3 miscarriages. One of them was a late-stage miscarriage 18 weeks into their pregnancy.
Like Rachael Duggan, when Mike Warner lost his son Daniel, he wanted to help those going through the same pain. He says when he "suddenly saw his wife in a lot of pain," the realisation of what was happening was "massively traumatising" and became a recurring memory that haunted him for several months.
When Mike was left in the bereavement suite with his wife and son he felt very lonely and couldn't get to sleep, he didn't want his wife to wake up and have no one to talk to.
"I stayed awake the entire night, the only thing I had was my phone. I used my phone to research and look up, 'what am I going to do tomorrow?', I'm preparing myself for what the next day is going to bring."
Mike says he was looking for a book to help him through the traumatising experience but was unable to find anything. Recognising this lack of support, he went on to work closely with Gloucestershire Libraries so that they could provide books that help people going through similar pregnancy related issues.
"If I was going through that experience again, sat in a bereavement suite with only my mobile, I would be able to download an e-book and read through other people's experiences."
Mike Warner and Rachael Duggan hope that their experiences have helped to provide people going through the same situation with additional support. Providing them with provisions that weren't there when Mike lost his son Daniel, and Rachael lost her daughter Florence.
The Snowdrops ceremony will take place at 7pm on Thursday (13 October) at The Walles Club in Barnwood, Gloucester. For those who can't attend, it'll also be streamed around the world via the charity's Facebook page.