Plea to visit friends and family with dementia this Christmas - as one third with the illness can't visit loved ones

A couple from Essex are praising the Alzheimer's Society, as they say the impact their activities have had on their lives is "genuinely life-changing".

66-year-old Derek Wiley lives in the county with his partner, 79-year-old Margaret Gloster, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in January 2022.

They're both speaking out on the importance of socialising and being able to see people, as it's revealed that since 2022, one third of people with dementia are cut off and unable to visit loved ones.

Derek said: “Margaret and I noticed there were many things she couldn’t do, so we went to the Doctor. She was diagnosed via our local Memory Clinic after having a brain scan, with mixed dementia. Prior to being supported by Alzheimer’s Society, we didn’t have anything to do and we were just stuck indoors and it was very depressing for us both. We used socialise a lot more, but now we only attend dementia friendly events."

As we approach Christmas, the Alzheimer's Society are calling on people to adapt their festive season, to include and support those with Alzheimer's, as well as their carers.

"The world isn't really very friendly when you've got dementia"

Derek told Greatest Hits Radio that before getting in contact with the Alzheimer's Society, he and Margaret would sit indoors, spending most of their days watching television. However, now they're out several days a week at events, socialising with people in the same situation.

"The world isn't really very friendly when you've got dementia, but when you're at these places, they're all so lovely to Margaret, and it makes me feel good, and takes the weight off my shoulders."

Whilst for many with Alzheimer's and dementia, it's hard all year, at Christmas time, the Alzheimer's Society's found that 65% of current carers say dementia has robbed them of a carefree and joyful season.

Since 2022, one in four with dementia are no longer able to participate or take part in any Christmas activities, and a quarter no longer recognise family or friends.

This can lead to exclusion at Christmas, which is something the Alzheimer's Society are trying to eradicate.

What can you do to include people with dementia this Christmas?

Judith King, Head of Local Services for Alzheimer's Society in the East of England, said:

"I think making sure that people who are living with dementia and those of caring for them aren't excluded, that you're thinking about it, because how dementia effects everybody, it will be different for every person at the end of the day.

"And so it's thinking about what would work best for them in terms of the visiting. Perhaps not everybody visiting all at once, or if you've got someone with dementia coming to you at Christmas, maybe making sure that they've got some quiet space and time as well that they can access and just pacing things.

"I think keeping to routines is important for people as well."

Whilst it can be hard to get round to see everyone in the holidays, those with dementia and the people who care for them can often end up indoors together most of the time, like Derek and Margaret.

"I think the most important thing is the company. Honestly, we would go weeks at a time, even now with both of us here we only see each other."

However, as Margaret says, "at least its another face".

Margaret and Derek attend many events now with the Alzheimer's Society, including recently musical experiences and Christmas decoration making classes.

Derek told us that when they speak to the others who are there with them, its easy to forget that those with Alzheimer's and dementia have so many wonderful stories to tell.

"Everybody who was there, had an amazing life, an amazing story behind them. You obviously don't see that, you just see someone who's having difficulties now."

"It might be a different Christmas... but you can still enjoy some of the activity"

Judith King and the team at the Alzheimer's Society are also concerned for carers this Christmas, who might be experiencing a different festive season to the ones they've known before.

The Society's research has also found that in the East of England, there's further strain on carers at Christmas, with much of the festivities added to pressure and stress.

In the region, 55% said they felt more emotionally drained and 27% felt more physically exhausted. Worryingly, 18% said they were at ‘breaking point’.

Judith's offered some advice for carers who are feeling overwhelmed this Christmas:

"Carers told us they experience a lot of emotional stress and pressure and the additional pressures of Christmas can make that feel even worse.

"It's easy for carers to feel that everybody else is able to have that good time, that they're not able to have because of their their caring responsibilities.

"So if we can support carers by making sure that they've got someone to talk to, so Alzheimer's Society, our support line, our dementia advisors can provide practical guidance and support and a listening ear for people if they are feeling overwhelmed, we've got an online dementia forum that people can access as well and and there's lots of information about how to support themselves and the person that they're caring for at Christmas."

How can we support those this Christmas affect with Alzheimer's and dementia?

"For someone who's living with dementia Christmas can feel overwhelming, I think it's if somebody isn't able to take part in Christmas or they find the Christmas activities too overwhelming, it can be easy to exclude them.

"Whereas it's thinking about what that person likes, what they enjoy, what they can still do and involving them, whether, perhaps it's an activity for them, like putting some music together, looking at some photos or helping with some of the preparations and not excluding people from from Christmas.

"I think for people living with dementia and carers to be kind to themselves as well, and it might be a different Christmas from previous, but it doesn't mean to say that, you know, they should be forgotten themselves and they can't enjoy some of that activity."

Further advice and support can be found here.

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