1 in 6 South West parents would cancel Christmas if they could

That is according to research from Action for Children

Author: Sarah YeomanPublished 30th Nov 2020

It has been revealed that one in six parents across the South West would cancel Christmas this year if they could.

New research from Action for Children reveals the 'stress and misery' of families in the run up to Christmas, with parents wishing the day away and children worried.

As the country faces Covid-hit celebrations, over half UK children think their parents will be worried about making it a happy time for their family, according to new polling released by the charity.

Action for Children worked with YouGov on a survey of over 1,000 UK parents and 1,000 children (aged 6 to 15) which lays bare the heavy financial toll felt by a new wave of parents who have never needed help but are now struggling.

Nearly half (46%) of UK parents on Universal Credit surveyed are facing their first ever Christmas on the benefit. Of these mums and dad, a massive 41% wish they could cancel Christmas, while more than half (55%) reported plans to delay paying household bills, borrow money or sell belongings to pay for Christmas celebrations5.

The polling also shines a light on the mental health toll the crisis has taken on children in the UK. It showed:

• Half of children (49%) reporting anxiety

• More than a third (38%) were scared of getting ill or dying

• A third (33%) were feeling lonely

• A quarter of children felt (26%) angry

• One in five (22%) parents reported them having mood swings or panic attacks

• And more than one in eight (13%) children were suffering nightmares

As the charity launches its Christmas Secret Santa campaign to help the country’s most vulnerable children, it also explored the effects of the pandemic on families supported by the charity’s Emergency Fund through an investigation.

These in-depth interviews found every family having to make difficult decisions about how to meet their basic needs.

With coronavirus restrictions increasing living costs, most families reported cutting back on essentials like food to put fuel in the car, or falling behind with household bills.

One family had already lost their home and others fear they could soon lose theirs. Nearly every parent reported concerning new behaviours in their children such as anger and fear, with some children suffering panic attacks.

The pressure for many has been increased by the fact they have a new baby, an unwell child, someone in the home with a disability or because they have to shield.

Mike Trower and family

Mike Trower, 33, Paignton

Single dad Mike Trower, 33, from Paignton in Devon planned to open a new business which had to be put on hold when the Coronavirus crisis began.

During lockdown he started to notice his four-year-old son Cody’s behaviour change dramatically.

He said: “He now has real social anxiety. He regularly tells me he’s sad and angry. He’ll scream out the car window and cry and have a panic attack – it’s because he’s spent so much time with me this year and now he struggles to be on his own. His bed is just across the hall through the lounge - I now have to leave the lounge and hall lights on as he says my room is too far away.

“If I shut the car door and walk around to fill up on petrol, he’ll undo his belt and stand up and say ‘what are you doing?’ I used to be able to fill up and go into the petrol station and pay. He didn’t used to be like this.”

Emma Pike with her family

Emma Pike, 36, Exeter

Emma lives in Exeter with partner Crispin and two children Miles (4) and Aaron (3). Emma was duty manager for a local hotel before coronavirus. Lockdown meant business dried up and she was made redundant. Action for Children provided some food deliveries, shoes and clothing. She had suspected Covid and pneumonia in February and her recovery was slow. She doesn’t have a local support network and her partner works full time. She has had a long battle to get disability benefits having suffered severe back pain after an epidural which went wrong.

“It has been a real struggle. Exhaustion from being ill, having the kids are at home, worrying about money and food, if their clothes and shoes are going to fit, are they going to be able to go to the dentist, what if they are ill. And I couldn’t even have home help. I did feel really emotional and rundown. It has scared me. My kids were asking me are we going to die? A three-year-old asking you that. You just need to wash your hands.

“We’ve been making ends meet- we were worried that if Crispin was ill then we wouldn’t be able to pay for anything. I’ve not been able to get the benefits that I need for my illness. It was a matter of waiting and hoping that we could feed our kids every week. I’ve sold lots of the kids’ toys to buy presents for them for Xmas.

“You do feel like other people seem to get what they want. My partner is working so hard on top of looking after me. He is constantly on the go. We sometimes feel like ‘what is the point in him working?’ If he didn’t work financially, we would be in a better position. People who work hard should be able to get the support to work and do what they need.

“This year’s been completely rubbish – it’s been hell with finances being so tight and with my health. It’s been so draining, especially with the kids out of school for so long. My partner has worked all the way through it and he’s exhausted doesn’t get any sick pay.

"Our kids have been confused, angry – and having tantrums about anything – they’ve been full on. My boys won’t be left locked in the car anymore – they’ve become so clingy since March. My eldest asked: ‘When’s Coronavirus going away, is it a Winter flu’ and I can’t explain it – to try and explain a vaccine to a four-year-old is impossible – or why he can go to school but I won’t let him go to the park.”

“Christmas should be the most exciting time of the year but instead children and young people in are desperately struggling to get through this crisis, with parents wishing away the pressure of the festive season.

“Every day our frontline workers are helping parents keep their heads above water as some face the prospect of eviction or selling belongings to cover the cost of Christmas. While vulnerable children who should be enjoying a safe and happy childhood are suffering nightmares, panic attacks, or being scared of issues like death and illness.

“In a year when children and families have been pushed deeper into crisis, supporting them is more important than ever. Until every family can keep their child warm and well fed, we’ll be there to help them – that’s why we’re asking people to donate to help us make a life-changing difference to vulnerable children this Christmas and beyond. But these families cannot rely on the generosity of the British public alone, the Government must play its part. The Chancellor must give struggling families peace of mind this Christmas by promising that he will not be cutting Universal Credit payments by over £1,000 a year in the Spring.”

Deputy chief executive of Action for Children, Carol Iddon