Watford woman living with breast cancer says talking about diagnosis should be 'without fear or stigma'
She wants to open up conversation around life-changing diagnoses
Kelly Bawcombe, a 39-year-old mother from Watford, Hertfordshire, is calling for more open discussions about breast cancer following her recent diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer.
Diagnosed in April after discovering a lump in her armpit, Kelly now advocates for breaking the silence around cancer, encouraging others to speak openly about their experiences.
She said: "I originally went to my GP after finding a lump in my right armpit, even though my breasts were completely normal—no lumps, no discharge, no change in size."
Her GP referred her to a breast clinic, and after further tests, Kelly learned that the cancer had spread to her spine, pelvis, and liver.
Despite the challenging diagnosis, Kelly remains focused on the need to talk about cancer, something she feels society often struggles with.
Kelly said: "I think any type of cancer has a taboo around it. You have to read the room, figure out who you’re talking to, and sometimes sugar-coat things to avoid making others uncomfortable."
A recent survey has found almost four in ten (38%) women in the East of England find it difficult to explain a diagnosis to a close friend or family member.
In addition, 38% are said to struggle with their body image, and 34% find it difficult to open-up in relationships.
When asked why these topics were so difficult to articulate, almost a third of women said were worried that people wouldn’t understand (30%), one in four said they were reluctant to upset other people (26%), or they felt too embarrassed (25%).
This tendency to hold back is what Kelly prevents more honest conversations from happening.
For her, the delicate balance of discussing her diagnosis has been most challenging with her seven-year-old daughter.
"I didn’t want to steal her innocence with my diagnosis. She’s too young to understand everything, so I tried to explain in a way that was age-appropriate," she said.
"But children are very intuitive—they pick up on things."
While explaining a life-changing diagnosis to a child can be a very delicate and difficult task, opening up to those surrounding the person living with the illness can also be tricky.
Kelly said that these conversations must extend beyond family, reaching friends, colleagues, and the wider community.
"There’s so much information on the internet, so many resources out there to help people have these conversations, but we need to stop sugar-coating it. We need to be honest about what living with cancer really means," she added.
As part of the "Breast Cancer Now" campaign, Kelly is using her voice to raise awareness, urging more people to engage in discussions around breast cancer, whether they are personally affected or not.
"It’s not just women, either. Men can get breast cancer too, and it’s affecting younger and younger people," said Kelly.
"We all need to be coming together and talking about it more openly. One day it might be your sister, your brother, or even yourself.
"We need to break the silence, so we can talk about cancer openly, without fear or stigma.
"This is our reality, and it’s important that people listen."