Watford domestic abuse survivor shares experience
It comes ahead of police using a new system to tackle the issue from next month
A woman from Watford has shared her story of domestic abuse, as a new risk assessment is being introduced to assist frontline officers in responding to such incidents.
Starting from 1 July, all officers will utilize the bespoke domestic abuse risk assessment, which aims to identify coercive and controlling behaviour by asking thorough questions.
Detective Chief Inspector Andrea Dalton from the Domestic Abuse Investigation and Safeguarding Unit (DAISU) explained, "This is a big change in how we respond to domestic abuse incidents. The new risk assessment was designed specifically for frontline officers to help them more easily identify coercive and controlling behaviour – the form of domestic abuse which presents one of the greatest threats of harm to victims."
The woman, identified as Sharon, aged 46, from Watford, spoke about her traumatic experience. She recounted how her life drastically changed after entering into a brief nine-month relationship with her boyfriend. Within that time, she lost her children, her career, her confidence, and even ended up with a criminal record. Her boyfriend took control of her finances, accumulating ÂŁ23,000 in debt, and subjected her to physical and emotional abuse.
Describing her ordeal, Sharon said, "The worst thing was not the bruises, but the fact that my children couldn’t live here anymore... I’d wake up every day in physical pain... I was like a puppet on a string." The abuse escalated to a point where he tried to strangle her, broke her cheekbone, fractured her eye socket, and forcefully pulled out six inches of her hair. Sharon felt numb with pain and lived in constant fear.
Reflecting on the impact of the abuse on her children, Sharon expressed her regret, saying, "The frustrating thing is that I know I’m a great mum, but I let myself and my kids down... they have seen and heard things that children shouldn’t be exposed to, and it will have a lasting effect on them."
Sharon turned to heavy drinking and eventually attempted suicide due to the unbearable circumstances. She was caught drink driving in 2020, resulting in a conviction. Another incident led to her partner vandalizing her house, prompting her to remove any reminders of him. She became a recluse, afraid to encounter him, and suffered from panic attacks and flashbacks.
Despite the long-term effects of the abusive relationship, Sharon's prospects are now looking up as she has found a job as a prison officer. She received support from an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor (IDVA) and the Domestic Abuse Investigation and Safeguarding Unit (DAISU) implemented safeguarding measures for her, including a panic alarm and strict bail conditions for her abuser.
Sharon emphasized the importance of seeking help and support, stating, "I would say to anyone experiencing domestic abuse to know your own self-worth and know that it is not OK... Get help, speak to your friends, colleagues, or a neighbor, even your hairdresser."
While Sharon appreciates the support she received, she believes more assistance is needed for victims, particularly after the court case. She expressed her loneliness and called for additional measures to be taken. Her ex-boyfriend was sentenced to 16 weeks imprisonment, suspended for 12 months, along with other penalties.
To provide further assistance, the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS), known as "Clare's Law," allows the police to disclose information about an individual's previous abusive or violent behaviour to a victim or potential victim of domestic abuse.