Bucks woman who suffered four miscarriages says there needs to be more support
Support on social media, stories of hope and books helped her cope
A woman from Buckinghamshire has shared her experience of miscarriages with us to support Baby Loss Awareness Week.
Sarah Ainsworth from Beaconsfield had four miscarriages before falling pregnant with her first of three daughters five years ago.
Sarah tells us that women experiencing miscarriages need more support to deal with the "brutal" experience.
"I almost didn't want to be alive"
Suffering four miscarriages took a toll on Sarah's mental health and at one point her husband was so concerned that he took her to the GP, who gave Sarah a two week sick note but no other support.
Sarah said: "it's difficult to navigate through life when you experience this" and there were points when she couldn't face going to weddings and christenings.
"If I didn't have the cash, I probably wouldn't have any children"
Sarah had been trying to conceive naturally and after four miscarriages decided to go to a private clinic.
"If I didn't have the cash, I probably wouldn't have any children. Or we would have kept trying and kept losing, or we would have maybe been lucky and kept going.
"But how long can you keep going? Each one crushed me down even more. So, you can't just keep going."
After receiving private medical care, Sarah fell pregnant but she told us the six week wait to hear the heartbeat was agonising: "When I was waiting for the six-week scan when I was pregnant for the fifth time, the wait was just torturous."
But Sarah and her partner did finally hear that sound and eight months later her first daughter Skylar, now 4, was born.
Sarah has since gone on to have two more daughters and she said: "I just think maybe I was meant to have three children, and I can't tell you how lucky I feel."
All you can say to someone whose had a miscarriage is "sorry"
In Sarah experience, people didn't always know the right thing to say but, according to her, the only thing you can do is say "I'm so sorry."
She adds: "There's so many things' people used to say to me that they thought they were helping but they just weren't. Little things like 'at least it happened early' or 'just relax'.
"But people don't know what to say unless they have been through it."
Where you can turn
According to Sarah, she was craving someone to talk to like her, and after coming across The Miscarriage Association, she found a community of people who understood her experience.
Sarah tells us that since her experience, she has seen so much support on social media, as well as plenty more books that are designed to help people.
She now also offers support to those in a similar position to hers and has documented her experience on her blog.
For more information, please visit: The Miscarriage Association website.