Essex man describes his experience of domestic abuse as a child

A man from Essex has been describing his experiences of domestic abuse as a child.

Ian Erridge, from Romford, is now 56 and has opened up about what he went through in the 1970s and 1980s and how it's affected his adult life.

It's as The NSPCC Helpline fielded almost 4,000 contacts about concerns for children experiencing domestic abuse in the first six months of 24/25.

There has been a 19% increase about the issue compared to the same period in 23/24.

Ian grew up in Essex with his mum and dad. When he was six years-old, his dad had a heart attack and came back from hospital with a new and frightening temper.

Soon after, he began acting in a physically violent way towards Ian’s mum and later towards Ian as well. Ian didn’t feel able to confide in anyone at the time about what was happening at home and even as an adult has struggled to speak about his childhood until very recently.

Since deciding to speak out, Ian has recognised the ways this has affected his life as an adult, as well as how this impacted him as a child who was trying to make sense of the aggression and confusion around him.

Coercive or controlling behaviour, emotional domestic abuse and post-separation domestic abuse were concerns repeatedly raised in contacts the adult helpline received about domestic abuse.

Childline is reminding all children that the service is ready to support them if they have concerns about domestic abuse, or any other issues, this festive season.

The NSPCC is dealing with an increase in contacts to its Helpline from adults with concerns about children who are experiencing domestic abuse.

In the first six months of 2024/25, the charity received 3,879 contacts relating to the issue, a 19% rise compared to the previous year.

A deeper dive into the domestic abuse data reveals mentions of coercive or controlling behaviour (999 contacts) and emotional domestic abuse (1,451) increased by a half, while post-separation domestic abuse more than doubled.

The NSPCC’s Domestic Abuse, Recovering Together (DART) programme supports children to recover from the adverse effects of domestic abuse.

The service brings together mothers and children in group sessions to discuss their experiences, strengthen their relationships, and explore strategies for coping with and recovering from the trauma of domestic abuse.

Children are also directly contacting the charity about this issue, with Childline delivering over 500 counselling sessions on domestic abuse in the same 6-month period.

As we move towards Christmas and into the winter months, the concern now is that these numbers will continue to rise with longer, darker nights seeing children spending more time at home and having several weeks away from school over the festive period.

In response, the NSPCC is launching its annual Christmas campaign designed to remind young people that Childline is available throughout the festive season to support on all concerns, including domestic abuse.

A girl, aged 14, who contacted Childline over the Christmas period said: “My parents have always argued with each other, but over Christmas it’s got physical. I can hear it all going on in the next room, shouting, swearing, telling each other to leave. Then I see the bruises afterwards. It makes me so scared I can’t sleep.”

There will be thousands of children this Christmas across the UK in search of free and confidential help for a range of worries and concerns. These include how to stay safe from abuse and about feeling completely alone. This Christmas, Childline is ready for every call and contact throughout the festive period.

In the charity’s Christmas TV advert, a young girl who has been neglected during the festive period contacts Childline for help. She speaks to a trained counsellor who listens to what is happening to her and provides support.

Childline director, Shaun Friel, said: “Christmas should be a time of wonder and excitement for children but sadly for some it can be a moment in the year when problems at home come to a head, triggering instances of issues like domestic abuse.

“Contacts to the NSPCC Helpline about domestic abuse have been on an upward trend this year and the worry now is this will continue over Christmas and into 2025.

“We are committed to ensuring no child is left to suffer in silence in December or any other time of the year, with our Childline service being open throughout the festive period providing free, confidential advice and support.”

This Christmas, a child will contact Childline every 45 seconds on average. Help the charity to make sure Childline is ready for every question this festive season by visiting the NSPCC website. Just £4 could help a counsellor answer a call this Christmas.

The Childline service is here for children every day, even on Christmas Day. Children can contact Childline on 0800 1111 or childline.org.uk

Any adult can contact the NSPCC Helpline if they have a concern about a child on 0808 800 5000 or by emailing help@NSPCC.org.uk. For more information on DART (Domestic Abuse, Recovering Together), visit the NSPCC website

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