Single mum calls for more support for young carers

Nine-year-old Alex Tavey’s life is very different from that of his friends.

While the rest of his primary five class are enjoying hobbies or playing on games consoles after school, Alex is pitching in to help care for his younger siblings.

Alex is one of 6,500 children under the age of 16 in Northern Ireland being recognised for the sacrifice they make every day by taking on a caring role in the home.

Mum Martina (34) describes Alex as her "little superhero" and says she wouldn't be able to cope without him.

Martina, from Newry, battles "constant guilt" for the responsibility her little boy is shouldering, but she also admits that the role of helping with his younger sisters and brother comes naturally to him.

It was when her marriage broke up that Alex took on extra responsibility helping out at home.

"I do feel constantly guilty for having to lean so heavily on Alex at such a young age, and he does not have a normal life of a young person," says Martina, who has four-year-old twin girls, Zoe and Ruby, both of whom have special needs.

Zoe has severe autism, is completely non-verbal and needs round-the-clock care. Her twin sister has been diagnosed with learning difficulties.

Martina also has a seven-year-old son, Podraig, who has vision problems.

Alex massively steps up to the plate to help his sisters and brother and support his mother.

He does Podraig's homework with him, helps with nappy duties and sits with his sister Zoe, who cannot be left alone, while his mum carries out household chores.

Alex also has to accompany his mum in the car when Zoe needs to go anywhere because she tries to harm herself if she is left alone.

Last year the nine-year-old gave up his twice-weekly football practice and swimming classes so that he could be at home to help out.

For Martina, young carers like her son are the forgotten heroes of the care system.

She says her home life is a constant pressure and she is under such strain that she is always shouting orders at the kids and feels bad that it is Alex who takes the weight off.

"He has always been caring beyond his years," Martina says. "Zoe needs round-the-clock care and Alex is always watching her and cleaning up her mess and never gets a break.

"He loves Zoe and she adores him. Both girls adore him. While Zoe is non-verbal, Ruby is the opposite and never stops talking and says the same thing over and over again."

There are an estimated 700,000 children and young people across the UK caring for a family member with a disability, illness or mental health problem - some as young as five years old. Typically, young carers help with practical tasks around the home such as cooking, housework and shopping; physical care, such as helping someone out of bed; and personal care, such as helping someone dress.

Dawn Shaw, Action for Children’s Director in Northern Ireland, said:

“The summer holidays can be heart-breaking for young carers who are often isolated and trapped at home, while their friends are having fun in the sunshine, playing sports or enjoying adventures abroad.

“We see first-hand the awful impact of loneliness and stress on young carers, who are desperate for a break from their duties and to have a bit of fun – that’s why young carer respite services are a lifeline for them."

• young carers