Grieving mum who lost son to suicide warns: "This is not going to stop"

Tricia Connor is supporting Downtown Cool FM’s ‘Invest in Life’ campaign.

Published 23rd Sep 2017

A Newtownards woman whose young son took his own life has warned of an impending suicide crisis here unless urgent action is taken.

44-year-old Tricia Connor lost her young son Jonny to suicide in August 2014.

He was 22-years-old.

Jonny had lost his job four months earlier and had struggled with alcohol and drug addiction after losing his father.

Tricia described the moment her life changed forever when she received the devastating news:

“A police woman came to the door and she asked me to take a seat and she asked me was my son’s name Jonathan Steven Connor?

“I replied yes and she said I’m sorry to tell you but your son took his own life last night.

“I heard someone screaming but I didn’t realise it was actually me,” she said.

Tricia is campaigning to set up a support hub in the town along with three other Newtownards women who have lost their loved ones to suicide.

“I think more needs to go into mental health definitely…or this is going to keep going, it’s not going to stop.

“This is getting ridiculous now, it’s just getting out of control, there’s been so many (suicides) in Newtownards and some days there’s two.

“It’s just getting scary.”

The heartbroken mother has already set up a suicide awareness group after struggling to come to terms with Jonny’s death.

“It doesn’t get any easier, I still get up and talk to him in that photo and just say why?

“Why have you put our family through this?

“Did he not realise how much he was loved, could he not have came and talked to us or was it just like a split-minute thing, was he planning it?

“We’re left with everything now was he that unhappy? We just don’t know,” she said through tears.

The heartbroken mother says losing a child to suicide has affected her own mental health and revealed she had to be hospitalised after his death.

“I ended up in Downpatrick, just a year after Jonny for six weeks because I really, I just couldn’t cope.

“I just didn’t want to be here because there was so much guilt, you know what could you have done to save his life?

“You give up on life a wee bit yourself so you do… you go to bed at night and think God I just don’t even want to wake up.

“Or you wake up and think it’s just a nightmare and just…wish he was still here and could you have done things different?

“Unless you’ve lost one (a child) you really don’t know what it’s like, it’s just emptiness.”

The County Down woman says awareness of mental health issues is key to preventing suicide and has urged others to educate themselves.

“I done a suicide assist course afterwards and there was signs there but I didn’t know them until I had actually done this course.

“So I’d say to anyone to do the course because it’s life-saving. It really is,” she said.

If you or anyone you know is in distress or despair help is available from Lifeline or calling 0808 808 8000.

National depression charity AWARE can also help by providing support groups for people with depression and bipolar disorder.

If you have been affected by this issue and would like to share your story please contact tara.mclaughlin@downtown.co.uk/02891815211.