Hollyoaks' Kirsty-Leigh Porter opens up about tragic loss of her baby daughter

Back in January, Hollyoaks actress Kirsty-Leigh Porter revealed the heartbreaking news that she'd suffered a stillbirth. And now, on what would have been her baby girl's due date, the actress has opened up about her tragic loss, offering advice to anybody else going through the same heartbreak.

Kirsty, who has played the role of Leela Lomax in Hollyoaks since 2013, took to her Instagram page to share a photo of a book titled 'Saying Goodbye'.

The 30-year-old wrote, 'This week in particular has been a struggle.. tomorrow is Penny-Leigh Barber’s due date - 5th March 2019. A date I spent saying over and over again, looking forward too with the most excitement, planning my whole life around. I’ve really had to pick myself up, and I am searching for any help. Thankfully I remembered this book I received from the bereavement suite at the hospital. Written by @zoeadelle Just turning a few pages and reading the words of someone who understands your experience helps. I recommend anyone who is going through this heartbreak to get hold of a copy. ❤️'. sic

Fans and friends of the actress were quick to show their support. One user commented, 💔 always thinking of what you must be going through. Really hoping the book offers comfort on the darkest days.'

Another then added, 'Thinking of you 😫💔', with a third writing, 'Sending loads of love ❤️❤️❤️❤️'. sic

Following her heartbreaking announcement at the end of January, Kirsty took to her social media accounts to write an emotional message about her angel baby.

In a lengthy post, the actress wrote, 'I have been wondering whether I should post this or not.. but here it is... I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels, (I have read every single one and still messaging back) I am posting this for anyone who needs to see it, I am posting this with strength that our babies will not be forgotten. I am posting this with the strength of every single person who has messaged me who understands what it’s like, in the hope that you understand you are not alone. And I am here for you. I wrote this when I had just lost my baby girl Penny-Leigh. 👼🏼'

She continued, 'My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are. Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy. I will always do you proud. As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky.'

Kirsty then added, 'Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone. Quiet and still, completely numb. All our plans, our future, snatched away in a moment that we can never go back too and change. My mind can’t comprehend how I have given birth yet my baby is not here with me. How is that ok? How is that ever going to be ok? People say “she was too good for this earth” but that would mean there was a reason you are not still here with your mummy and daddy, and I don’t think there is any reason for it. How can being anywhere but in our arms better for you? With the overwhelming grief comes GUILT. If I’m not a heap on the bathroom floor hiding myself away crying, I am wondering aimlessly around the room with GUILT.' sic

If you have been affected by stillbirth or neonatal death, please contact charity Sands.

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