Here's some CRINGE but fantastically bad 'Dad Jokes' to celebrate Father's Day!
They're terribly good
Last updated 11th Jul 2019
Year on year, the nations' dads pull out the classic, yet awful, bad dad jokes. It's a universal skill of all fathers, alongside embarassing their children with their hideous dance moves! But somehow (we don't know how), they end up getting the most laughs! So they must be quite good after all...
To celebrate Father's Day, we've collected the most terrible but funny jokes that are doing the rounds. Enjoy!
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y.
Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?
Never mind... it's tearable.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing it.
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack...
because I took a couple of days off.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
A man is washing the car with his son.
The son asks, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea!
Why did the crab never share?
Because he's shellfish.
Did you hear the rumour about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
What do you call a man who can't stand?
Neil.
I wouldn't buy anything with velcro
It's a total rip off!
Dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut.
I keep trying to lose weight...
but it keeps finding me.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear!
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing it.
You know what the loudest pet you can get is?
A trumpet.
Why can't T-Rexes clap their hands?
Because they are extinct.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day...
but I couldn't find any.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
It's very time consuming.
What kind of tea you drink with the Queen?
Royal tea.
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two!
How do you cut the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
I don't trust stairs
They're always up to something.
Why did the tomato blush? - Because it saw the salad dressing.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? - Sundae school.
You laughed didn't you!
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