'Hugging my boy after rehab was best feeling ever' - Save The Next One
A Ballymoney mother has opened up about her 11 year battle with codeine addiction as part of our Save The Next one campaign.
Last updated 20th Mar 2018
Diane Campbell first tried codeine when a neighbour offered it to her in 2005, to help with a migraine.
She said she did bot know it could be addictive and started taking more of it to deal with her headaches.
Diane had also been diagnosed with depression and anxiety at a young age, which complicated matters.
When her first child was born in 2005, she turned again to codeine to help with her stress and sleep issues after the birth.
By the end of the year, she was taking 20 pills a day.
The mum-of-two had also begun to take her mother's prescribed codeine, despite the fact her mother needed it for a sore back.
"I can honestly say most of me didn't care because as long as she handed over those pills, I was happy," she said.
"There would be days when I saw her coming out of the house, clutching her back and hobbling and there would be a but of guilt.
"But in my mind, because I was addicted, my needs still came first."
A difficult time after her second child was born in 2007 meant that by 2008, Diane was now taking 30-40 pills a day.
Her doctor had tried to devise a plan to wean Diane off the drugs, by giving out reduced amounts, but he wasn't aware she had been lying about the amounts she had been taking.
The plans never worked and this was the on-off situation for a long time.
She had begun to supplement the painkillers her doctor was prescribing her with ones bought over the counter at chemists' and with pills bought online.
"I was spending almost ÂŁ200 a week on them," she said.
"I was totally broke. I was borrowing money, I couldn't plan fro Christmas, for birthdays, anything, because I was living hand-to-mouth.
"I couldn't see any future at all because I knew what I was doing was going to kill me."
This continued right up until 2016, when Diane simply couldn't take it any more.
"Christmas was absolutely horrendous, I just got to breaking point," she said.
The very next month, Diane checked into the Carrick One addiction unit at Holywell Hospital in Antrim.
It would mean a month away from her children and partner though.
"I managed to tell my partner at midnight the night before," she said.
"He was great. He was shocked, but he understood and he never judged."
The hardest part was telling her two young boys that their mum would have to be away for a little while.
"Of course the tears started straight away," she said.
"My oldest son, he took it really bad, he just flopped his head down on my lap and cried for I don't know how long.
"I think the lowest point was just looking at the children and knowing what I was doing to myself and worrying that I was going to leave them without a mother."
"My heart was just in bits, but I knew it was leave them for three weeks or leave them altogether, but it tore the heart out of me."
Carrick One proved to be a real turning point in Diane's life, where she was able to finally access the help she had wanted for so long.
However, she had to show immense strength to get through the withdrawal symptoms from coming off codeine so suddenly.
It was all worth it three weeks later though, when she was able to leave Holywell and pick up her youngest son from school.
"He came out holding his daddy's hand and he was chatting away," she said.
"Then he looked in the car and saw me and this big smile just came over him.
"He jumped in the car and flung his arms round me and it was just the best feeling in the world, because I knew this was a new start."
If you wish to contact us to tell us your story of how drugs have impacted your life, you can do so by emailing news@downtown.co.uk or if you wish to seek help for addiction issues, more information can be found here.