Nobody Likes Us? Do Me A Favour

I'm a changed man, and with absolutely no surgical enhancement necessary.

After spending a professional lifetime being accused of being part of a Scottish football writers' organised conspiracy against Celtic it turns out that I'm actually involved with an organisation dedicated to keeping Rangers down among the lower orders.

It was David Somers, now known as the non-executive chairman of Rangers, who put me and my colleagues in our place.

In the transcript of his speech to Rangers' shareholders at the club's AGM Somers spoke of the "Highly negative aspect of most of the media reporting regarding Rangers.

I have been very disappointed to realise that, outside of Ibrox, there sadly still exists a great deal of anti-Rangers feeling."

In other words, to borrow from a ditty that used to be belted out when people went to see Rangers play and were actually moved to sing, "No-one likes us, we don't care."

Pander to the lowest common denominator and try to deflect attention away from your own performance in the hope that rabble-rousing tactics are better than the ones which have caused Rangers performance, on and off the park, to be called into question.

That would appear to be Somers' M.O. Rangers in shtook? A big boy did it and ran away so far as he's concerned.

It would be preposterous if it wasn't so laughable a suggestion from that quarter.

This will be the same Dave the dazzler who said when Rangers' latest financial figures were published last month that the club had "Laid solid and stable foundations for the future."

Could Somers organise a search party and take us to the place where these solid and stable foundations have been laid so we can all see for ourselves, because a club that needs an eight million pound share issue to stay open could be thought to be built on shifting sands.

It's a bit like saying Derek Llambias, Rangers' Chief Executive, was only appointed after exhaustive interviews were conducted with other candidates for the job.

Somers tried that one on last week, prompting an immediate thought from all members of the anti-Rangers media.

Name one.

Llambias is Mike Ashley's man in Govan and Sports Direct, Ashley's company, were described as "Our long term partner" in Somers' address to the shareholders at the AGM.

Derek was appointed Chief Executive two minutes after Ashley told Somers, and the rest of the Rangers board, that's what had to happen.

But if the last resort for a desparate man is to see if he can get the fans onside by saying the world's out to get Rangers then he can give it a go.

But it won't work.

Today's fan, regardless of who he supports, is too clued up to fall for that old baloney.

And if you don't believe that's the case then presumably you'll accept without reservation that Saturday's attendance for the game against Livingston was 28,053.

In the meantime, Sports Direct is Rangers long term partner. That's been declared one month before the SFA meets to adjudicate on whether Ashley and the club have broken regulations covering the extent of his influence inside Ibrox.

Square go, anyone?

No-one could reasonably argue against the fact that Rangers being back in the top flight, along with Hibs and Hearts, would strengthen Scottish football as a whole.

But if the press report on previous wrongdoings at Rangers, and pursue the present, ever changing catalogue of chaos at the club, they're simply doing their jobs and not pursuing an agenda.

Today's journalistic breed, like the majority of fans, are too smart to be guided by bias.

For instance, when Ronny Deila says Celtic are in a championship race with Dundee United, Aberdeen and Inverness Caley Thistle you draw your own conclusions.

My assertion remains that the Celtic job is too big for the Norwegian, but there is an element within the club's support who have elevated him to a position which vouches for the existence of blind faith.

Deila has been declared an unqualified success without actually having won anything yet, and his greatest tests have still to come.

Rangers might appear to have all the composure of a drunken man chasing a balloon but the Old Firm game to come on February 1 will take on a life of its own, and while Celtic continue to defend with no sense of assurance it isn't possible to say they're certain winners of that League Cup semi-final.

Likewise the Scottish Cup tie against Dundee at Dens Park carries no guarantee of immunity from pain where Celtic are concerned.

Inter Milan? Sold to the public as a nostagia-fest but a daunting task for a side beaten like the one at Tannadice on Sunday.

There'll be hardly anybody there when Celtic face Ross County at home on Sunday. Both halves of the Old Firm are involved in a race to see who can drive away as many supporters from their ground as possible this season.

The more discerning among Celtic's public have taken a critical look at dodgy signings and even dodgier performances on occasion and decided they'll come back when there's something worth looking at.

The Rangers fans will return when they have an institution they can respect once again.

Either way, we are living through unprecedented times for the Scottish game's twin pillars.

And if you're critical of Celtic and Rangers at the same time how do the conspiracy theorists determine whether you're in favour of one side or the other?

The answer to that one is that when Celtic or Rangers start putting pressmen, and women, on the payroll then they can expect favourable treatment.

Since that will never happen then the pair of them will just need to put up with objective criticism from a free press living in a free country.