'Tis the season to be bolshie

Published 10th Dec 2018

'Tis the season to be jolly was never really in any danger of becoming Scottish football's Yuletide mantra.

Not when we've started to arrest the racial abusers on a weekly basis from Hampden to Tynecastle.

Not when the coin throwers are still in business and the singers of songs that would ensure a ding-dong, but not so merrily, are still high on their own adrenalin.

But this week will really exhibit what it is like to be an outcast from society for the game's well wishers.

Two Scottish clubs will compete in European ties which will have their immediate future at that level of the game at stake, as well as the country's place in the co-efficient table which determines how many European participants we will have in years to come.

It would only be thought logical and reasonable to wish Rangers and Celtic well as they confront Rapid Vienna and RB Salzburg, the former needing a win to progress to the last thirty-two of the Europa League and the latter being obliged to draw or win to achieve the same goal.

But the fans of both sides will be praying for the other to lose because that's how we roll in these parts.

Europe is seen as being no different from domestic rivalry, where it is acceptable to hope that your greatest rival slips up because why would you want them to have something you don't.

Namby-pamby well wishers can save that old codswallop for carol services or other forms of peace and goodwill to all men and women.

This is Scottish football and we take our pleasures seriously.

There will never be any difficulty, for example, in establishing the difference between a ray of sunshine and Steve Clarke's face.

Even at the best of times, the Kilmarnock manager radiates all the warmth of a dangling icicle when it comes to assessing the world around him.

He went to Celtic Park on Saturday and started the match in the exalted position of league leaders, but once his team had been comprehensively beaten by the side who then replaced them at the top of the table the manager poured scorn on those who had dared to revel in Kilmarnock's return to better days.

Those who indulged in pre-match talk about the possibility of Killie being the Leicester City of Scotland were dismissed as "People talking out of their backsides."

Well pardon us for breathing.

The next time somebody accuses me of failing to talk up the game in this country I shall recall to mind the words of the Rugby Park manager and suggest that optimism is a waste of time because it is equated with talking out of your rear end.

"I know what you are like," the manager continued in a bah-humbug kind of way.

"You try to put words into people's mouths."

Well that won't be a problem any more. We'll let Kilmarnock get on with the aftermath of being mauled by Celtic and see how they cope with being in joint second spot with Rangers when they play Dundee at home on Saturday.

We wouldn't want to disturb the mood surrounding the occasion by mentioning that a win for Kilmarnock would take them back to the top of the table in case the media are accused of inducing a state of nervous anxiety within the home dressing room.

A vow of silence and no publicity for the game, that's the very job.

I would assume that Kenny Miller, the Dens Park captain, will be in a more effusive mood by then.

I had saluted Kenny's indefatigability on Superscoreboard on Saturday and predicted a long afternoon for Rangers against Dundee.

But when Miller scored the opening goal of the game he gestured to communicate that celebration would be out of the question.

This was an act of extreme generosity, given the way that Rangers had dealt with the matter of an alleged dressing room bust-up following a defeat from Celtic last season.

But that's Scottish football for you, unfathomable, unpredictable and ever so slightly doolally.

Which brings us to the subject of the most un-loved of all. The little boys that Santa Claus forgot, our referees.

Once again, a dodgy sending off and an even more questionable decision to disallow a legitimate goal for offside has pock-marked a game of high importance.

Dundee are aggrieved. Rangers are aggrieved. The fans are mystified.

But, like death and taxes, inefficient referees will always be with us and no amount of SFA-promoted summit conferences will make the slightest bit of difference.

We can only hope that the league title race does not go down to the wire and is settled on the back of a decision that passeth human understanding.

In the meantime, the very best of luck to Rangers in Austria and to Celtic against their opponents from the same country.

I wouldn't want to put words in anyone's mouth or speak from an area best used for sitting so I'll simply imply that it would be a very merry Christmas for our game if both clubs extended their stay in Europe beyond the New Year.

Heaven forbid anyone should derive satisfaction from seeing both clubs prosper and begging your pardon for introducing a note of fair play into the proceedings.