Six More Sleeps
I'm living in a cynical old hack's paradise.
I don't believe anybody when it comes to the outcome of a season that is no-one's concern except that of Celtic and Rangers where the major trophies are concerned.
When the Ibrox chairman, Dave King, says he wouldn't sell Alfredo Morelos for forty million pounds, I don't believe him.
He told the club's AGM Rangers' revenue streams, commercial sales and season ticket sales were "pretty much the same" as Celtic.
Then he added that the only advantage Celtic had over their rivals was a “good track record of player trading."
And yet, at the same time, the chairman says he would turn down the best bit of player trading available to him, a piece of transfer business that would wipe out Rangers' debt and negate the need for the planned share issue in the New Year.
What Dave really means, to my way of thinking, is Rangers would jump at forty million pounds for Morelos but would be afraid to sell him because the cost of re-building Ibrox after it had been razed to the ground by an outraged support would exceed the money taken in from the player's departure.
Likewise, if Celtic had needed to beat Rennes in the Europa League last Thursday night in order to qualify for the last thirty-two in the competition they would not, in my opinion, have locked out the recidivist element within the Green Brigade.
That particular bunch are what I would call an inconvenient necessity.
They are a monumental pain in the rectum with their profanity and their pyrotechnics.
But I believe Celtic would have given them one more shot with their Swan Vestas and the leftovers from their Guy Fawkes fireworks if it had suited them to have a charged up atmosphere against the French side.
For the simple reason that, anti-social though they may be, the pyromaniacs have their uses when the volume needs to be cranked up in the interest of personal gain.
Business is business, and that's why the SPFL have taken the decision to appoint Willie Collum the referee for Sunday's Betfred cup final.
Willie's the perfect choice because no-one trusts him.
Rangers last season went so far as to issue a statement in which they claimed Willie had "underlying issues" when it came to them.
That outburst cost them six thousand pounds in the form of a fine.
The Celtic support, meanwhile, have not trusted Willie since he gave a penalty to Rangers at their place on the basis he had "heard" contact in the box.
Collum will forever be an outcast and a figure of suspicion because of that judgement.
So he's perfect for Sunday, a day when rational behaviour will go out the window.
It is possible to feel sorry for multi-millionaires.
Neil Lennon and Steven Gerrard have done outstanding work this season. The football's been terrific. The opposition has, by and large, been totally overwhelmed and the pair of them are currently separated in the league table by a single goal.
But one of them will be accused by his own support of being a clueless waste of space at five o'clock on Sunday evening for losing the first trophy of the season.
A Celtic win will mean ten domestic trophies in a row and sow a significant seed of doubt in the minds of those who long to see Rangers supplant their greatest rivals.
A Rangers win will symbolise the dreadful realisation that eight years of complete and utter domination of a previously hapless rival could be coming to an end for Celtic and their supporters.
Everyone will need a strong constitution to get through the day, particularly two fans who spring to mind.
The first is the man who called Superscoreboard on Sunday to say Gordon Dalziel's spirited defence of Jeremie Frimpong's display against Ross County was, in fact, reverse psychology.
Gordon, said the Celtic fan, was talking up the teenager because he knew Frimpong was a weak link and wanted to see him play at Hampden so that Rangers would win the final.
The second supporter is the one who wrote to me asking why Rangers name came first on the cup final programme.
If this is the kind of state people are in now, what will they be like six sleeps from today?
Even a terminal cynic wonders about that