Hello, is it me you're looking for?

And if Rangers were to go to Firhill on Friday night and beat Partick Thistle five-nil they would leapfrog Celtic in the Premiership table and go top for the first time in years, putting Pedro Caixinha's caravan in the executive car park and bringing barking dogs to heel.

It might only be for a matter of hours until Celtic play Ross County at home the following day, but can you imagine the fun if the balance of power underwent a momentary shift?

We might need to have the first ever midnight Superscoreboard to cope with demand on the phone lines.

A European triumph of hope over expectation on Tuesday followed by a domestic distinction on Friday could not be dismissed as being totally out of the question.

After all, what is football without hope and the right to dream?

And, let's be honest, these are more vivid topics of conversation, and grounds for debate, than some things you could mention.

Such as the colour coded argument over the SFA's refusal to countenance the idea of an independent judicial review into their governance of our game.

Green is the dominant colour of the group who believe that the SFA is not fit for purpose and showed themselves to be incompetent when it came to their handling of everything relative to Rangers going into administration, and subsequently liquidation, six years ago.

Blue is the colour of those who believe the primary motivation behind the green group's demand for a review is to have Rangers one day stripped of league titles won when they were allegedly enhanced by the financial doping that enabled them to sign players they would otherwise have been unable to acquire.

It is the protracted dispute which is Scottish football's running sore and the blemish on the game's complexion which will become considerably uglier to behold because there is no outcome which will provide even the remotest resemblance to cosmetic surgery.

Domestic disputes within any family are distressing and rarely end well. The football community is now embroiled in a rammy where words like "Accountabilty," "Transparency" and "Responsibility" are being put forward in written and verbal form.

But here's the story.

Celtic supporters believe Rangers should be stripped of titles won when the club was using EBT's to strengthen their playing squad.

Rangers supporters believe their club has been dealt with over that matter, having been fined £250,000 by the SFA for registration irregularities, and that is the end of the story.

The SFA, meanwhile, are definitely not interested in having any torches shone into any dark corners within the corridors of power.

No judicial review. Nothing to see here.

But what about the letter sent from the SFA's Chief Executive, Stewart Regan, to his opposite number at Celtic, Peter Lawwell, on August 18.

Regan said, "The (SFA) board agrees that the events of the last six years have lead to a lack of trust among many of the stakeholders in the game in Scotland"

That alone must surely merit some form of internal investigation, surely?

"Run along now, there's a good chap," would appear to be the response to that suggestion.

So, here we are.

The SFA says we're done and dusted here, let's get on with the rest of our lives. Others, like Aberdeen chairman Stewart Milne, agree.

Celtic now have the ball at their feet, having publicly criticised the SFA's refusal to initiate a judicial review. And so do the Celtic supporters and the fans of other clubs who feel they have a grieveance against the governing body.

So, who is going to do what, and when?

In the meantime, can you imagine the noise inside Celtic Park tomorrow if Neymar, M'Bappe, Cavani and the rest from PSG are defeated and thrown out sur le trottoir?

Or what it would be like if everyone woke up on Saturday morning and rubbed their eyes in disbelief over a league table which showed Rangers in first place and Celtic in second?

All good, clean fun. Football related reasons to get the argumentative juices flowing.

And none of the toxic fumes rising from the other stuff that now concerns the suits and their legal representation.

In my line of work you know it's bad when the nuisance calls resume in the middle of the night.

If you say on Superscoreboard that there is a need for a review of the SFA so that there can be no room for people to say the governing body is hiding something then there are consequences.

Just as those who hold the opposite view must suffer the same fate in the so called privacy of their own homes.

What is it about 2.30 am for nuisance callers?

Is that supposed to be the optimum moment for causing nocturnal inconvenience?

As a matter of interest, do the callers set their alarm for 2.30 so that they'll be fresh for the fray?

Or do they stay awake until that time as if to say, "This will teach him to hold an opinion contrary to mine."

Anyway, I managed to sleep through the call from a "Private number," so it made no difference. But, like Lionel Ritchie sang, "Hello, is it me you're looking for?"

I wish I could sleep through reviewgate while I was at it, but I've a notion the whole business will take me up to, and beyond, retirement.

In fact, it'll go all the way until the day when I'm looking a tthe grass from the brown side.

And that's not just me. That's you and you and you as well.

Have a day off and think about how good it's going to be at Celtic Park and Firhill this week.

You'll feel better for it

• Hugh Keevins