Happiness is a warm conspiracy theory
A pal of mine who supports Celtic, other friends who support other teams are available incidentally, has a theory.
He had been hoping that Rangers would finish second in the Premiership table so that the bar had been set at that level for the arrival of Steven Gerrard in the manager’s office at Ibrox in time for the start of next season.
If Stevie G failed to have Rangers make second place in the next championship campaign he would therefore have been immediately established as a proven failure for not doing as well as the team managed at various stages this season by an eccentric Portuguese, an Under 20’s coach and latterly a veteran member of the coaching staff.
There’s no accounting for the way people think when it comes to this game in this country.
Happiness is a warm conspiracy theory and time shall not age those who hold them up as self-evident truths. Their suspicion of peoples motives will keep them forever young and on the look out for fresh insinuations.
One weekend, three causes for consternation.
Was Kilmanock’s Steve Clarke declared Manager of the Year by the Scottish Football Writers Association at their annual dinner in Glasgow last night just to spite Celtic’s all conquering Brendan Rodgers?
Did the aforementioned Brendan deliberately instruct his players not to try their best against Aberdeen on Sunday so that Rangers would know the ignominy of finishing third in the league table after their chairman, Dave King, had demanded that the team finish a “Strong second?”
And was Hibs’ Neil Lennon being deliberately provocative towards the visiting fans when he ran on to the pitch after the tenth, and final, goal of a wondrously bonkers game with Rangers at Easter Road on the same afternoon?
Those who implicitly believe the answer to all three questions is an unequivocal ‘Yes’ can now go off and do something else while I state the case on behalf of those who would beg to differ.
I sat there and applauded Kilmarnock’s manager last night. I didn’t agree with my fellow members voting him the best of the bunch, but I respect their right to hold an alternative opinion.
Clarke has transformed a team who were poor to watch and had started to drive an already meagre support from the stands at Rugby Park as a consequence.
But he finished fifth in the league table. If he finishes fifth this time next year will he get the Manager of the Year award?
I very much doubt it.
But did the country’s football writers get together and decide that, whoever received their most prestigious award, it wouldn’t be that Rodgers guy?
Not a chance.
If there was a deep rooted, press based conspiracy against Celtic would Scott Brown have received the Player of the Year award, or Kieran Tierney the Young Player of the Year award for the third time in a row?
And let’s not forget Leigh Griffiths being recognised as the International Player of the Year.
I believe Rodgers, with two trophies already in the bag and a favourite’s chance of an historic double treble if he beats Motherwell in the Scottish Cup final on Saturday, should have been the one making the acceptance speech at last night’s dinner.
But I don’t believe he was conspired against any more than I believe Brendan stood up in the Celtic dressing room at twenty-five minutes past twelve on Sunday afternoon and said, “Look lads, whatever happens don’t be beating Aberdeen out there today.”
Would I seriously stand in front of a man of Rodgers’ reputation and ask him if he had thrown a game of football?
Not in a million years.
And I know all about the note that was passed to Scott Brown, the allegation being that this was to instruct him Rangers had gone 4 – 3 in front at Easter Road and there was an even greater need to slow down against Aberdeen.
If the manager wanted to pass that instruction on to his captain would he not just call him over and tell him? It would be quicker than being a pen pal, would it not?
Besides which, the way things were going in Edinburgh the scoreline and the complexion of the game could have changed by the time Rodgers had finished writing his note, causing him to call for a fresh supply of paper and a new pen.
It was a magnificent madness. A ten goal epic that drove Lennon to abandon all decorum and run on to the park when his team snatched a draw from what should, with three goals of a start, have been a comprehensive win.
The manager who had ventured the possibility of chucking it after his team had lost narrowly to Hearts a few days earlier was ecstatic over a salvage operation that started off as a victory parade.
Was Neil delighted because it had stopped Rangers from winning?
Without a shadow of a doubt.
Will he be punished by the SFA for celebrating too much? The rules are the rules mate. Encroachment on to the field of play is a definite no-no.
That’s not the SFA singling Neil out for special treatment and being gleefully spiteful. If Gerrard runs on to the pitch at Easter Road in celebration next season he’ll get a ban as well.
This is not the governing body outlawing happiness and denying visual displays of joyousness. They simply have to keep everyone in their proper place, particularly during days of high voltage confrontation.
Lennon’s quite right to highlight the questionable song directed at him throughout the match. If he goes on to the pitch the visiting fans take exception, but they would never question themselves over their own conduct.
That’s double standards for you.
Provocation is in the eye of the beholder. Like conspiracy theories. You can believe what you like, but the rest of us have to reserve the right to think it’s inaccurate to say the game’s bent.