Don't get your agendas in a twist
If you were a conspiracy theorist at the start of Sunday afternoon’s Premiership football then you were a dizzy and dazed conspiracy theorist by the end of play.
Even Steven Gerrard and Neil Lennon, who appeared to be wronged by referees, were publicly agreeing with the match officials who had wronged them.
What chance have you got if everybody is going to be all sweetness and light in the midst of battle?
They’ll put conspiracy theories out of business at this rate.
Perth had pride of place as the location for unfathomable behaviour of the sort which had everyone’s agendas in a twist.
Andrew Dallas, the referee who is attached to controversy as if it was made of Velcro, refused to allow a goal for St. Johnstone when the ball appeared to have gone over the goal-line.
If it takes four men in a Superscoreboard studio several minutes of time spent studying television replays and other forms of footage before declaring that they could not prove conclusively the ball had crossed the line then what chance, by all that’s reasonable, does the referee have in a split second?
And where it becomes really difficult for the conspiracy theorists is that, before he denied St. Johnstone the opportunity to make the score 2-1 in Rangers favour, Dallas dismissed a penalty claim that would have made the score three-nil in the away team’s favour.
Gerrard visibly appealed for a penalty at the time, and then said he was wrong to do so afterwards and supported the referee in the action he took, or didn’t take.
It was a penalty all day long. Trust me.
Those who don’t support Rangers are known not to trust Dallas, not since the day he awarded Gerrard’s side four penalties in one game against St. Mirren at Ibrox last season.
The referee is biased towards Rangers because he supports the club, or so the conspiracy theory goes.
It’s all nonsense, but at least he can laugh about it. I can tell you that from personal experience.
Last week I hosted a professional boxing show at the St. Andrews Sporting Club on the same night Rangers played Feyenoord in the Europa League.
I told the audience that Andrew, a guest at the boxing show, had dispelled a popular myth by his attendance.
Rangers were playing a game at home and Andrew wasn’t there.
Cue laughter, and include the referee among those who took no offence at the joke.
To the very best of my knowledge Andrew’s dad, being a Motherwell supporter, brought his son up to support the same team, as parents are wont to do.
But a caller to Sunday afternoon’s Superscoreboard said Dallas’ display had been typical of declining standards among match officials in this country.
Last Thursday the exotically named Jose Maria Sanchez Martinez, a Spaniard who has twice refereed El Classico between Real Madrid and Barcelona, delivered a display of highly dubious quality when Celtic played Rennes in the Europa League.
He gave Celtic a penalty and also denied them one that was better than the award from which they scored.
He also sent off Celtic striker Vakoun Bayo under farcical circumstances before he was finished proving inefficiency has more than one postcode.
Unsatisfactory decision making is not the monopoly of Scottish referees. The conspiracy theorists want us to think that it is, but hard evidence doesn’t support the claim.
Bobby Madden, another on the list of those to be scrutinised for allegedly biased behaviour while in a referee’s outfit, was fourth official when Neil Lennon was booked during their win over Kilmarnock.
Not only did the Celtic manager agree with that decision in his post-match press conference he also publicly declared Madden to be a “great official.”
What is a conspiracist to do under these circumstances?
The bottom line is it was a day of high excitement, high scoring and high jinks. The more the merrier.
The league title is only the business of Celtic and Rangers. If you must have a two horse race then make it one you can’t take your eyes off for a second.
There are thirty-two games left to be played and if every match day is going to be as incident-packed and as replete with goals then we’re all going to have nervous exhaustion by the end of it.
The people who believe the game is at the mercy of referees they don’t trust will just need to wear themselves out in some other way between now and May.