Charity shares heart breaking letters for suicide awareness campaign

A series of heart breaking letters are being shared by a suicide awareness charity, explaining how taking your own life will crush the people you leave behind.

Back Onside offers support to people facing mental health struggles by offering counselling, workshops and educational courses, as well as a 24/7 crisis hotline which has taken more than 28,000 calls in the last six years.

Its first campaign is titled 'Suicide Kills, Suicide Crushes Loved Ones', and it is shining a light on the "trail of devastation" left behind after someone commits suicide.

Billboards carrying the message can be seen in various locations across Glasgow, and bereaved families are coming forward to share their stories.

The campaign is also an urgent appeal for funding to enable the charity to continue offering "lifesaving mental health support" to those in need.

There is currently a six to eight month wait for the charity's services due to soaring demand.

Dear Jayson

As part of the campaign, Lynsey Alexander from Dundee has written a letter to her husband Jayson, who committed suicide in 2020 at only 32 years old.

Some viewers may find the following content distressing.

She wrote: "Dear Jayson,

"I can't put into words how much you're missed, there is no way to describe the feeling.

"If I had to name some... heartbroken, lost, but in a nutshell, my whole life was ripped apart when you died.

"The boys miss you more than I think you ever would've imagined and your mum never recovered.

"I'm still picking up the pieces three and a half years on.

"It's just this empty void that nothing can fill, I lost everything when you left.

"Finding you that morning was the worst day of my life and it still haunts me today. It's absolutely destroyed my life.

"I lost my husband, my future, and our boys lost their daddy. They were just babies. In what world would a child be better off without you?

"I remember the pressure you put on yourself to be the best dad, you grew up without your dad and so you promised you would help mould these boys to be the best they could be.

"But what do they do now? You left. What do I tell them? How do I tell them? Will they ever understand why daddy left, and to leave by choice?

"Where was daddy on their first day of school, their first sports day, their first time riding a bike?

"People look at me and think I'm so strong but on the inside I'm dying because I know that you would've loved to have been there, and they would've loved you to be there too.

"But what worries me the most, is will they end up broken and angry at the world? I hope not, because that's my biggest fear now.

"I live a life doing the best I can given the circumstances, I do the job of mum and dad now but I'm broken.

"Finding my husband like that left me with wounds so deep they can't be fixed.

"All I can do now is do anything and everything to keep your memory alive and explain to the boys that daddy tried his best to fight because I know how much you loved them.

"But you could've still been here if you just talked to someone."

More letters are available here.

'It literally rips people's worlds apart'

Libby Emmerson founded the charity to try and help others after almost committing suicide herself.

She told Clyde 1: "I'd went to take my life and it somebody got to me in time and stopped me.

"I always thought I couldn't do that to somebody, but when it happened to me, it felt like everything was going to be fixed if I wasn't here.

"Your brain just takes over and it felt like an instant relief.

"I decided to tell my story in 2020 and my family were glad I was still here obviously, and they now understand.

"But seeing the impact I would've had on so many people...I genuinely thought on the night that no one would miss me.

"We've seen the devastation and the emptiness and loneliness that's left behind.

"It literally rips people's worlds apart."

Urgent appeal for funding

She said the charity is in a critical condition for funding, with a waiting list of more than 100 people.

She said this campaign will "make or break" its future.

"We're having to run this campaign because we need the funds. We're in a situation now that we're having to turn people away and that's the worst thing.

"I know if I didn't get the proper support, I wouldn't be here.

"For me, having people phoning us, and us saying we literally can't take anyone else on is the worst thing."

Back Onside can be contacted on 07528 243100.

The Samaritans provide confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair. Their 24-hour helpline is on 116 123.

If you are in crisis, call 999.

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