"There were times it got unbelievably dark" New film inspires men to talk about mental health
WATCH: Black Butterflies hopes to encourage others to talk about their emotions
A film-maker has told Hits Radio Liverpool he's hoping to inspire men to open up about their mental health struggles after using his own story as the basis for a new short film.
"Black Butterflies" by Colchester-based actor Dean Gribble began life during lockdown, and its script includes genuine transcripts of his real life therapy sessions.
Gribble, who is originally from Edinburgh, first experienced difficulties with his mental health when he had a panic attack before stepping on stage to perform "Trainspotting" in a theatre in Bristol.
He later developed anxiety and depression, the latter made worse by the isolating impact of the coronavirus pandemic.
WATCH: Black Butterflies mental health film
The 13 minute feature follows Kai, played by Dean, as he visits his therapist, while also juggling his relationship with his dad, and the world around him.
Shot over just a couple of days, Dean and his production team were keen to correctly represent mental health on the silver screen.
Speaking to the Mental Health Monday Podcast, Dean said he was now much more confident about sharing his past mental health experiences.
"I'd contacted the Samaritans a couple of times when I was in the house on my own, and one time I did dial 999. There were times when it got unbelievably dark, I wasn't telling anyone about it and it was all stuck in my head."
Finding mental health support
During this most difficult time, it took careful advice from his partner to encourage him to reach out.
"(I did it) For myself, and for my partner who has been amazing throughout this whole thing. She said 'You've got to try and do something about it'. It was her who pushed me into it and not myself."
Dean was able to speak to a therapist, a service which was only available at the time in an online chat format because of the restrictions of the pandemic.
But an unintended consequence was that he was provided with entire transcripts of his sessions. Something he was eventually able to turn into the script for the film.
"All the therapy lines are taken from the transcripts of the online sessions. I printed all the pages out and found the moments when the conversation really got going.
"There were pearls of wisdom everywhere, it was just about finding the right order to put them in"
Speaking out about mental health
Dean says the reaction to the film has been incredibly positive, with people from older and younger generations confiding in him about their own lived experiences.
Asked what he hoped to the consequences of releasing the film would be Dean told us:
"Conversation. Conversation with people, and giving people the confidence to try it themselves."
Listen to Dean speaking in full to Mick Coyle on the Mental Health Monday Podcast
You can watch Black Butterflies on Youtube.
The Samaritans can be reached on 116 123
And find mental health services where you are via www.hubofhope.co.uk